Vishwaas

Memories of my Baby shower

2012-02-17T23:00:00.008+05:30

Today, my cousin asked me the significance of having a Traditional Baby shower...as I was talking to her..memories of my "poochoottal, Poomsuvana Semanthonanyanam, Valaikaapu" came flooding in.

The ausipicious day was fixed as 16th March 2011. My In laws and Parents were in full swing getting things ready for the event. What kept me engaged was shopping for myself..guess what I never did shopping for my wedding..only for my baby shower :-). Bangles, blouses, return gifts, hairdo kit..etc...

I had almost memorized verbatim the significance of the function as mentioned in http://www.trsiyengar.com/id156.shtml

We had the Sumangali Pooja on 13th march. MIL, Co-sister had prepared a traditional spread for 5 Sumangalis (Married women) + usual people in the household. I was just a helper around..We gifted a nice 9 Yards sari to one of the ladies. 2 amongst those were my aunts. I was seeing them after a very long time. So I got some saris for them too..(one of my aunts was coming to my home for the first time..that made it more special). They all blessed me for a safe delivery. That day my husband showed a new side of himself to me.."courtesy"...since dad wasn't around, he took up the responsibility of giving my aunts a proper send off in the railway station. He was in no hurry to get back home before he ensured that my aunts had themselves seated comfortably in the train and were to have a safe journey. That was something that surprised me too...He has always been "Busy"...so seeing him relaxed was a bit joyful.

By 15th March, all relatives had assembled. (1 or two were to join the next day). I had very few people from my maternal side. I was a little unhappy about that for some time. People whom I hoped would come, couldn't make it. Some had difficulties and constraints. Some had some last minute emergencies. Some had distanced themselves from me. I was missing some special people who were very important to me at some significant part of my life time. Somehow I consoled myself saying.."God is there to take care. Every person has their own difficulties. It is not wise to put the key to our joy in their pockets. No point in crying or blaming or nurturing hatred or observing apathy or planning a revenge. These are not characteristics of the wise but of the 'otherwise' (AKA TV serial watchers). What matters is their good wishes and blessings". I was back to my cheerful self soon.

The caterers were here making a fantastic spread for all the guests. It began with Bajji for evening snack and masala dosai for dinner. That evening we had the Udaga Shanthi. The significance that I was told was "To live a healthy long life and also achieve fame and wealth, and have good children in the family, one would do wise to listen to, and recite the Udaka Shanthi Mantras. These Mantras, have the power to purify one's mind and the environment he lives in. 'Udaka Shanthi' means 'Shanthi' performed through water. Udaka Shanthi consists fo mantras from the deity Agni to the Supreme Lord Vishnu. More over the deities governing all nakshtras, their individual mantras and the benefits obtain are also mentioned.".. There was a central Kalash (not the usual chotkoo one..but a regular 'Thaneer Kudam" or "pot"). At the end of the chanting, I was made to sit in the balcony and my husband poured the sacred water over me..brrr...it was really cold...at one point of time I felt it hard to breathe..but I kept telling myself..this is for my baby... I got to wear a cotton 9 yards sari (a new one as a gift from my parents) to wear after that. We (husband and self) were then asked to take the blessings of all elders and proceed to the puja room to take the blessings of the diety resident at our home.

Before I could go to sleep, my MIL wanted to do a dress rehersal. She wanted to do be my personnal stylist that day. She did a small rehersal of hairdo that she had planned the next day. (She was telling me that in her village and in those days, females in the family used to do makeup for the members in the family. No external professional help was sort...so it was a journey down the memory lane for her). She had neatly stitched up the "Rakodi" (hair brooch) with a hair bun made of banana stem threads and covered it up with a black ribbon. We then fixed up some hair pins to that 'bun' so that it becomes easier to fit it in my hair in a way that it wouldn't fall off and it is easier to decorate the hair with flowers around the brooch.

Though it was around 11 PM by the time we had wound up the rehersal, I was asked to come down by 4.30 AM (the poochootal function was scheduled at 6 AM).

I couldn't really sleep. So I came down at sharp 4.30 PM after a nice warm wash. My MIL dressed me up. I was all decked in my nine yards sari and a superb hairdo with a nice "nethi chutti" (Hair jewel)...

At 6 mom made me sit in a wooden plank and started the Poochoottal Valaikaapu function. Being my mother, she was the first one to apply Chandan, haldi, Kumkum on my face and hands. Then she fixed some flowers on my hair. Then she proceeded to put on "veppam kaapu" (neem bangle) "Thanga kaapu" (golden bangle), "Velli kaapu" (silver bangle)...after her 4 more ladies did the same thing..but gave me glass bangles to wear..(I had organized the bangles in a way that I get to wear 21 in one hand and 20 in the other...I was told it was customary that one hand has to have odd number of bangles while the other has to have even number)...a few bangles were set aside for my "thozhi"...It is believed that the person who gets to sit beside a pregnant woman during her Valaikappu...is given some of the pregnant woman's bangles as if saying "Your turn soon"... :-). The bangles and the kaapu were to be removed just before I enter the delivery - labour room. I wore those bangles till the end. (of course..some of them broke..but I did not remove them or deliberately break them..Anannya loved the tinkling sound that those bangles made...I could feel her movements more clearly after that)..

Then my MIL made me close my eyes and spread a banana leaf and filled it with food. Over that another banana leaf was spready. in its four corners 4 things (ammanai,kazhakodi, marapaachis, yeedu and yezthuthani) were kept hidden. I was asked to touch them with my eyes closed and guess what they were. I was told that what I picked first will determine my child's character..I picked yeedu Yezhutani (paper pen).

Then came the eating part. I had to feed, 2 kid-cousins and my nephew before eating. After that my cousin performed a small dance to entertain us until the "Vaathiyaar" (pujaris) arrive. They came in my 9.

The Seemantham function started by 9.30. Homam, Chanting was performed to pray God to bless the child in the womb. Then we had the Mookupizhithal. 2 Kanya girls had to grind the fruit of the fig tree. (We were able to mobilize only one girl. So, the kids whom I fed earlier decided to pitch in themselves) :-). I gave the girl a nice chain set and the boys got money. The juice was mixed in pure milk and after mantra chanting, 2 drops were sent down my nose. During the mookupuzhithl, the ladies were made to stand around me like a fortress and they held a saree around me. After the Mookuouzhithil, I was given a new 9 yards sari to wear. The fig seeds were then bound as a knot in my new 9 yards sari. I was supposed to put it my baby's craddle on the it naming ceremony.

Slowly the guests from outside (not being relatives) started blessing us and gave us gifts. My husband gifted me a pair of gold earrings. My nephew Bhargavaa also gave me a nice fancy jewellery as a gift. He had saved up his pocket money and had combed the entire locality in getting me a "nice one". I heard that one of the shopkeepers got a bit of Bhargavaa's sharp tongue for keep "sub optimal goods in the shop that were not worthy enough for Bhargavaa to buy for his aunt"...hahahaha...for some time, we never went in the direction of the shop for some time. hahahhaa

My parents gave me a pair of gold bangles, 3-4 huge thalis of sweets. The "PoriKollu" (a spicy Mixed gram mixture...that is mostly available only in southern districts of Tamil Nadu) was also given as part of my "seeru" (gifts) from my "Pirandha agam" (maternal home). Either sambandis gifted sari and dhothi to each other. (I sponsored all clothings. Both Mom and MIL loved the saris that I bought for them. Somehow I found it difficult to differentiate between them. So I bought them identical saris in different colors. Also a sari for my co-sister..she was the one who was a silent slogger in making this function a grand success). Mom got me a nice mysore silk sari. I wore it for the evening function. It was an unusual combo of Light and Dark Blue...(Thanks ma!!)

I had invited only one guest from my office. Dr. SPV (S.P. Viswanathan...I refer to him as "father of Solar thermal power research in India"). He is a very very wise man and a great scientist. I wanted his blessings. I had invited him alone. He did oblige me by coming home with his wife. He spent the entire day watching the function, and left only after all the rituals were completed and after relishing the food served at lunch. He ensured that he got the route map memorized properly the day before the function. Despite his tight schedules, he made it to the function. I was so happy about that.

Lunch too was at home. Nearly 50 people had lunch. we served all of them in batches. We had guests from Thiruvaroor, Thanjavore, Srirangam, Mumbai and Chennai. People from the colony also came in. It was a decent function that went on very smoothly.

I was given a send off to my mom's place. My MIL placed a coconut in my sari pallu and asked me to return back safely. Incidentally the pregnant lady's husband has to hide himself. She is not supposed to see him when she goes to her mother's place for delivery. She filled my pallu with a huge coconut. I was supposed to keep it at my maternal home until my delivery. When I went to the hospital, that coconut had to be deposited in the temple enroute.

I went home for an hour and was back :-)....But I went to my maternal home after 15 days.

I must also mention that my MIL secretely sent some "Pather Pheni's" for me...she got it made because I used to like it. We had once experimented it at home (before I was pregnant)...she also 'hid' some exclusively for me...Sweet lady..she really took care of me as she would have taken care of her own biological daughter. No wonder I have 2 Amma's now! (Oh no..she is not net savvy and I have no intention to do any sweet talk about her...I am being genuine in my appreciation).

That evening, we had a family concert. My cousin gave a traditional Bharatnatyam performance. My nephew sang "Vishamakaara kannan".. (I think Anannya is more naughty because she has heard about Krishna..while she was at my womb)..

The whole function was really memorable. I have preserved some of the my baby shower bangles a a memento. :-D...All for the sake of the princess that was growing up in my womb. :-D...

This was a once in a lifetime function. Even if I had any more deliveries, this function will never be repeated. My friend once said, "you can even marry twice. But never get to have your seemantham twice". I remembered those lines at the end of that day when I went to sleep.

Well it is nearly a year now...What a hectic day it was...but nevertheless..those events are still vivid in my mind...very memorable....

Birth of a Mother

2011-07-20T23:56:00.002+05:30

29th May 2011, I was all nervous and shaky. The Doctor had asked me to get myself admitted into the hospital for delivering the baby that was happily concealed in my womb for over 39 weeks. My husband wanted the best of the amenities to be provided for his baby. He booked an expensive suite room. Room No. 300. Coincidently, our baby was also to be born on 30th.

Right from the day that the nurse in the hospital told me that I was pregnant (well from April 2008 - Sept 2011 I was expecting this news but surprisingly not in October 2011) to the day that doctor told me to get myself admitted, every day was a new day. Every move that I made was for my baby. Every morsel that I ate was for my baby. I did everything that was necessary to ensure that my baby was safe. I did everything that was said to be absolutely necessary to ensure that the baby's future was good and its thought process was channelised in the right way, right from the time it was in my womb (from reading good books to doing household chores). Ultimately when "The DAY" came, I was really nervous. :-).

I was the nervous the most on 29th, I don't think I was so nervous ever before (the magnitude makes the difference). I walked all night and hardly slept for half an hour that day. I even made a friend there. She was expecting her baby in the next few hours. As I was singing, her labour pains started. On 30th May, around 4 AM her son was born. (Sadly, I forgot to get her name, a Marathi lady). I continued my walks. After Bhajans it was slokas. My mother was in deep sleep. Poor lady, she was down with Kidney stones and had to take pain killers that were making her drowsy. All my thoughts were towards the safety of my baby. I was praying that even if some disaster had to fall, God should protect my baby. I even woke mom and asked her to promise that incase something happens to me, she will ensure that my baby is safe and is raised properly. I even asked her to promise that she will not fight with dad in the baby's presence. Mom said "Don't talk nonsense" and went to sleep (well she never promised though).

My husband came around 10 AM to the hospital. He was engrossed in his laptop doing his office work. I couldn't take the stress anymore. My abdomen was really heavy and it was getting more difficult to walk. Nobody around was talking to me also. Everybody was anxious. My inlaws opted to stay at home. They promised to come once I went into labour. I was responding to office mails from my blackberry (some distraction was needed).

Around 12.00 Noon, I went to the labour ward. The Doctor checked and said that the cervix hadn't opened and it was better to go in for a operative delivery. My husband was called in and he readily gave a go-ahead (My plans for making him my birthing parter went down the drain. I knew he'd chicken out but wanted him to experience the awesome moment of seeing the baby come out. Well that did not happen. I was a bit disappointed). Slowly he escorted me out of the labour ward to my room. I couldn't walk. My abdomen was becoming heavier by the minute.
As I reached the room, I told mom and dad that the doctor was to operate on me. Next thing I did was to call my Mother-in-Law and ask her to come immediately.

I was upset that I wasn't able to deliver the baby vaginally. I had walked 10kms a day and followed all prescribed Yoga procedures to help vaginal delivery. But that did not happen.
Before I could settle down, around 12.10 PM, 2 nurses came to the room and got me ready for operation. Within the next 10 minutes I was ready. All preliminary injections were given, IV set up and my husband was taken out to finish the paper work.

I really went pale. At that moment, I could not think of anything else or anybody else. Fear of death came in for a few minutes. I called out for my husband. I told him to hold my arm. He accompanied me to the Operation theatre. I was wheeled in by 12.30 PM.

The room wasn't new to me. I was there in that very room for my laproscopic surgery 10 months ago. There I was re-dressed for Operation procedure. I was made to sit. Later I had to change to a crouching position holding a pillow in my bossom and an anesthetist gave me an epidural injection in my spine. I felt a shock going down my right leg and within seconds, I was numb neck-down. People shifted my crouched body to lay it properly on the table. My arms were wide spread. My Right arm was connected to the IV bottle and left to a BP monitor.
Some clothes were put on my face. I could hear. I could vaguely see a clock there in the Theatre and nothing else. Around 12.50 PM the senior doctor walked in and said "ready". By 12.56 PM I heard a LOUD SCREAM. The Doctor said "Ponn Kuzhanthai ma!!" ("its a girl!!" - in Tamil)
I still remember my reaction. I was super happy. I laughed aloud and said "Yeh!! Engaathukarar kitta solungo, avar aasappatta maathiriyeh Ponnu Ponranthirukka!!" ("Please tell my husband that we have a daughter as he wished for"). I was elated, and suddenly tears welled up my eyes.
I heard the doctor say "Santhoshatha paaru. Aathukarar aasai patta mathiri Ponnaam!!" ("Look at her. She is more happy that her Husband's wish came true").

Well I wasn't against having a daughter. Just for fun, I used to tell my husband that I wished for a son.

That day - 30th May 2011 around 12.56 PM, Mother of "Anannya Sriram" was born.

Around 6 PM, when I was wheeled out from the ICU to the ward, the happiness that I saw in my husband's eyes was something I will always cherish. My parents, my brother-in-law, Co-sister, Bhargavaa, Father-in-Law were all there. My parents were busy with baby. My father-in-law was beaming as his granddaughter resembled him. That day, my Mother-in-law kissed me on my forehead. She cried silently. I had kept my promise that I will bring her granddaughter home one day.

My husband is yet to word out the emotions that he was going through when he was told that he had just become a father of a beautiful baby girl. A man of few words that he is!! :-). (I might come out with a sequel when he does tell me).

Well, aftermath of the story, Anannya keeps my mom and dad on their toes. I used to be their crown jewel. Now I have surrendered it to Anannya :-). She rules all of us with her SMILE.

After playing roles of daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend, student, sister, sister-in-love, sister-in-law, co-sister, wife, daughter-in-law, employee, manager, classmate, teacher, tutor, colleague - I have the most cherished role now. A new Identity.

I am a "Mother".

Bhargavaa's first 'Marghazhi - Thiruppavai' Experience

2010-12-16T17:57:00.005+05:30

Today, my nephew Bhargavaa was determined to join the elders at the temple for reciting Thiruppavai (He doesn't know a word of it though).

He said that he was growing up and has to be treated as a grown up (tweeking his non existing moustache).

So, his mother woke him up by 4.15 AM (least expecting him to wake up, but he did!!), gave him a cup of milk and his warm bath and got him ready for the temple.

I joined them today and we went walking to the nearest Vishnu temple by 4.45 AM where our elders were already waiting for us since 3.30 AM. The recital started exactly by 5.00 AM. He started getting restless. Then he shifted his seat next to me and tried to sleep on my lap. That too was very uncomfortable for him as we were quiet loud with our prayers.

Next attempt was to try to read the verses. But we were too fast for him. (He was still trying to spell each letter and read the word).

A little later, he couldn't stop his eyes from watering (poor sleepy kid :-(. But he couldn't just sleep). So I gestured him to go around the temple doing 12 pradakshinams. He finished it in no time but felt extremely tired by then.

Fortunately our recital ended simultaneously. The divine offering was then distributed to every one. To his dismay it was steaming hot Sweet Pongal. (He was expecting vadai or payasam or sundal). His mom and me managed to coax him to taste the prasaadam. But he wouldn't eat beyond 2 morsels. He thought we were going home next.

But, we stopped intermediary at the Ganesh temple. A lot of women were bathing the Ganesha seated below the Banyan tree with icy cold water. He was perplexed.

He came rushing to me to ask "chithi, why are they bathing Ganesh ummatchi* in cold water? Poor ummatchi" (*ummatchi - kiddish version of referring to God).

I wondered why he always had the most difficult questions to ask me alone and not to anyone else in the household. But my mind flashed an immediate answer (fortunately that he could accept as is) "It is difficult to fix a water heater in the temple, in such an open space. One, the current consumption will be more, Two, somebody might steal it. Coming to the electricity bill, who will pay? If you volunteer, we can tell the temple priest to take it from your piggy bank!".

He immediately beamed saying "Its ok that 'He' is bathed in cold water. Being a Ummatchi, very unlikely that he might catch a cold".

He was getting extremely restless and was nagging his mom for some milk in a low voice (because his friend Malan's mother was near by and it was a prestige issue for him to let her know about his nag). We tried to coax him to stay a little longer and have the prasadam.

Then he saw that the prasadam here was also Pongal. That was the last straw. He started off saying "All Ummatchi are Paavam (poor souls). All they get to eat this whole month is Pongal. They don't even get sambar or chutney along with it. Early morning they don't get milk or boost or horlicks or coffee to drink but they are forced to eat this Pongal every day".

My father in law was laughing real loud and he added "God is also forced to listen to some people's screaming attempt to sing, which even common mortals find it extremely difficult to hear".

We came home laughing over Bhargavaa's first experience. When we reached home by 6.30 AM, he was totally exhausted.

Before leaving to school, he said he was happy about getting up early today (earlier than his friend Malan who stays next door). But there was no commitment from him about tomorrow or the days to follow. :-)

He is a sweet kid!! Isn't he?

God's contribution to us

2010-10-04T12:27:00.003+05:30

When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brawn
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

Author: Swami Vivekananda
__________________________________________________________________

I asked God for courage and patience
God gave me difficult people to handle

I asked God for Love
God gave me troubled people to help

I asked God for Hope
God showed me a Bright day at the end of the night

I asked God for creativity
God sent me kids to teach

I asked God to take away my pains
God asked me to give them up

I asked God for happiness
God sent me his blessings

I asked God answers to my questions

God guided me to find my own solutions

Author: Manjula Narasimhan...

Be True to your own self

2010-10-04T12:24:00.002+05:30

A Nice poem that I read this weekend.
I thought I could share it through my blog as well.
Its all about being true to our own self.

_________________________________________________

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what THAT face has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or spouse
Whose judgment upon you must pass;
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you are a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy or gal,
But the face in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look it straight in the eye.

That's the one you must please, never mind all the rest,
For that's the one with you clear up to the end.
And you know you have passed your most dangerous test
If the face in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life
And get pats on your back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the face in the glass.

~ Dale Wimbrow ~

Ganesh - Symbolization

2010-09-10T11:24:00.004+05:30

Featured in Hindu Education Plus

2010-08-16T18:08:00.002+05:30

Importance of higher education highlighted in shaping a student
The inauguration of the Biotechnology Association activities of Kumaraguru College of Technology was held recently. Kannaki Uthraraj, Director, The Fertility Centre, Kovai Medical Center and Hospital, spoke on “Technology becomes Human.” She elaborated the use of Assisted Reproduction Techniques (ART) for begetting children. Pointing out the various reasons that could attribute to infertility in women, Dr. Kannaki added that treatment would depend on the underlying cause. The possibility of gamete retrieval from cancer patients prior to chemotherapy and preservation of the same for future use was also explained. Co-Chairman of the college B.K. Krishnaraj Vanavarayar spoke.
The induction of new batch of engineering students of Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham was held on the university premises in Ettimadai. Students along with parents attended the function that was organised to welcome them. Pro-Chancellor Swami Abhayamrita Chaitanya, Vice-Chancellor P. Venkat Rangan and other faculty members addressed the students and highlighted the importance of higher education in shaping the character of a student and enabling them to get a lucrative job.
The Department of Biomedical Engineering of Sri Ramakrishna Engineering College organised a hands-on training on “Basic Medical Electronics and Component Identification and Testing”. J. Dinesh, Managing Director, K.L. Institute of Technology, handled the training. He dealt with component identification, soldering techniques and PCB designing.
RVS Institute of Management Studies and Research conducted an orientation programme for the first MBA students. Manjula Narasimhan, Manager, Finance and Pre-Sales, KGFSL, inaugurated the programme and highlighted the importance of value-added learning becoming a part of the curriculum of the MBA programme. Experts from various industries and academicians handled the various sessions. Management games to refresh the minds of the young students and to serve as ice-breaking sessions were held.
A management development programme on “Employee Retention for Higher Organisational Productivity” was held at the KPR School of Business. P.S. Rao, management consultant, conducted the programme. He stressed the need to change the mindset from one of stopping the flow of attrition to one of attracting and retaining committed, capable, competent, and contributing employees by changing the characteristic of the organisation to where employees felt at home.
The second installation ceremony of the Covai User Group was held recently. Vidiya Prasanth was installed as the Chief Executive Officer for 2010-11. On the occasion, Sundaresan was installed as the CEO of Students Software Solutions. It launched a social networking website www.tinywall.in. Following closely on the heels of these events, an-all women enterprise called Aagnya Consultancy Services was also launched with Vandanaa Lakshmi as its first CEO.
The Department of Physical Education of Tamil Nadu College of Engineering organised a blood donation camp in the college premises. As many as 50 students donated blood. Representatives from the blood bank of PSG Hospitals were present to collect the blood and take it to the bank.
Coimbatore Institute of Engineering and Technology conducted a recruitment drive for final year B.E., B. Tech., and MCA students. Excelacom Technologies, Chennai, had come to recruit for their human resource needs. As many as 130 students participated which included aptitude test, group discussion, technical interview and HR interview. After the final selection, 10 students got offer letters to join the organisation on completion of their course.
Karpagam Polytechnic College organised a State-level Science and Technology exhibition for school and polytechnic students in the college premises. Exhibits were based on science and technology, mathematics, physics, chemistry, botany, zoology, electronics, computer science, etc.
The Department of Bioinformatics of Dr.G.R. Damodaran College of Science organised a seminar “To Be or Not to Be – In Bioinformatics”. R.S. Annadurai, Chief Executive Officer, and R. Pravinkumar, Project Lead – Computational Biology, Prescient Biosciences, were the resource persons for the seminar. They stressed the fact that all life science disciplines worked together in harmony and one could not sustain without the other. Pointing out the advantages of acquiring a qualification in life sciences, he said those who had degrees in life sciences were much sought after in the industry and were on a par with IT professionals.

Hanuman Chalisa - with Meaning

2010-08-02T18:13:00.005+05:30

dohä
Sree guru charana saroja raja nija manu mukuru sudhäri
baranaüð raghubara bimala jasu jo däyaku phala chäri
After purifying the mirror of my mind with the dust from the lotus feet of my guru, let me describe the shining, untainted glory of Lord Hanuman, a member of the Raghu dynasty, one who is capable of bestowing the four purushārthas on his devotees.
buddhihéna tanu jänike sumirauà pavanakumära
bala buddhi bidyä dehu mohin harahu kalesa bikära
Knowing myself to be ignorant, lacking in intelligence and wisdom, I remember Hanumanji, the son of Pavana (the wind god) and invoke His grace to forcibly remove all the afflictions of my body and impurities of my mind and bless me with strength, wisdom, and discriminative knowledge.
Chalisa
jaya hanumäna Gyäna guna sägara
jaya kapésa tihun loka ujägara
Glory to Lord Hanuman who is the boundless ocean of knowledge and virtues! Glory to Lord Hanuman who is the king of the monkeys and the light of whose fame illumines the three worlds!
räma düta atulita bala dhämä
anjaniputra pavanasuta nämä
O Lord Hanuman! You are the messenger of Lord Rama, the abode of incomparable strength, the son of Anjani, and known also by the name Pavanasuta (son of wind god).
mahäbéra bikrama bajarangé
kumati nivära sumati ke sangé
You are the greatest warrior, possessed of valor with a body that is as strong as steel. You have the power to destroy all the negative tendencies of the mind and you are the constant companion of those who are discriminative (about good and bad) and wise.
kanchana barana biräja subesä
känana kundala kunchita kesä
Your complexion has a golden glow and your appearance is enhanced by your beautiful clothes, earrings and curly hair.
hätha bajra au dhvajä biräjai
kändhe münja janeü säjai
You have a thunderbolt in one hand and the flag of Lord Rama in the other. The sacred thread made of munja grass on your shoulder adorns you.
sankara suvana kesarénandana
teja pratäpa mahä jaga bandana
You are the incarnation of Lord Siva and the son of Kesari. The whole world sings the glories of your shining prowess and valor.
vidyäväna guné ati chätura
räma käja karibe ko ätura
You possess great knowledge, great virtues, a sharp intellect, and are ever eager to serve the lord of your heart, Rama.
prabhu charitra sunibe ko rasiyä
räma lakhana seethä mana basiyä
You take great delight in listening to the glories of Lord Rama, who along with Mother Sita and Lakshmana have take up permanent residence in your heart.
sookshma rüpa dhari siyahià dikhävä
bikata rüpa dhari lanka jarävä
Having reached Lanka, You assumed the minutest form and appeared before Mother Sita. With her permission, you then assumed a huge, fierce form and burnt the city of Lanka.
bheema rüpa dhari asura samhäre
rämachandra ke käja samväre
In order to accomplish the mission of Lord Rama, You took a gigantic form and slew many demons in Lanka.
läya sajévana lakhana jiyäye
Shreeraghubéra harashi ura läye
You brought the sanjeevani plant from the Himalayas, which revived Lakshman thereby bringing great joy to Lord Rama’s heart.
raghupati kénhé bahuta batäé
tuma mama priya bharatahi sama bhäé
Lord Rama praised you profusely and said that you are as dear to Him as Bharat.
sahasa badana tumharo jasa gävain
asa kahi shreepati kantha lagävain
Lord Rama said “The thousand-headed snake (sheshanaga) sings your glories”. Thus the divine consort of Mother Sita, embraced you.
sanakädika brahmädi munésä
närada särada sahita ahésä
Your glories are also sung by great sages like Sanaka and Nārada, gods and goddesses like Brahmā and Sarasvati.
yama kubera digapäla jahän te
kabi kobida kahi sake kahänte
Yama, the Lord of Death, Kubera, the god of wealth, the guardians of the directions, great poets and scholars have all tried to sing your glories. Yet they have not been able to do justice to describe your glory in full.
tuma upakära sugrévahin kénhä
räma miläya räja pada dénhä
You obliged Sugreeva by introducing him to Lord Rama who helped him to regain his kingdom.
tumharo mantra vibhéshana mänä
lankeshvara bhaya saba jaga jänä
Vibhīshana became renowned all over the world as the king of Lanka by heeding your advice to surrender to Lord Rama.
juga sahastra jojana para bhänü
lélyo tähi madhura phala jänü
As a child you leaped up thousands of miles with ease and swallowed the Sun thinking him to be a fruit.
prabhu mudrikä meli mukha mähén
jaladhi läghi gaye asharaja nähén
Therefore, no wonder you flew over and crossed the ocean with Lord Rama’s ring in your mouth.
durgama käja jagata ke jete
sugama anugraha tumhare tete
All the tasks of the world, regardless of the level of difficulty, are accomplished easily by your grace.
räma duäre tuma rakhaväre
hota na äjhyä binu paisäre
You guard the entry to Ramji’s palace where none can enter without your permission.
saba sukha lahai tumhäré saranä
tuma rashaka kähü ko daranä
All joys are to be found in your refuge and with you as the protector there is no cause for fear.
äpana teja samhäro äpai
ténon loka hänka tein känpai
You alone are capable of controlling the blazing splendor of your powers. The three worlds tremble with fear when they hear your thunderous roar.
bhüta pishäsha nikata nahim ävai
mahäbéra jaba näma sunävai
Ghosts and demons do not dare to come near when they hear your name being chanted.
näsai roga harai saba pérä
japata nirantara hanumata bérä
All ailments are destroyed and all pain and suffering are removed by constant repetition and remembrance of your bravery.
sankata tem hanumäna chudävai
mana krama bachana dhyäna jo lävai
You remove all the difficulties of those who meditate on you in thought, deed and speech with sincerity and faith.
saba para räma tapasvé räjä
tina ke käja sakala tuma säjä
You were successful in carrying out the missions of Lord Rama, the supreme ascetic, who is the ruler of all.
aura manoratha jo koé lävai
soé amita jévana phala pävai
You grant the desires of all seekers by giving them the fruit of immortal life.
chäroh juga paratäpa tumhärä
hai parasiddha jagata ujiyärä
Your glory is renowned in the four yugas and its glowing radiance shines forth all over the world.
sädhu santa ke tuma rakhaväre
asura nikandana räma duläre
You are the protector of all who are righteous, the destroyer of those who are evil and very dear to Lord Rama.
ashta siddhi nau nidhi ke dätä
asa bara déna jänaké mätä
Mother Sita has granted you the boon of having the power to grant eight kinds of siddhis (Aṇimā: reducing one's body even to the size of an atom; Mahima: expanding one's body to an infinitely large size; Garima: becoming infinitely heavy; Laghima: becoming almost weightless; Prāpti: having unrestricted access to all places; Prākāmya: realizing whatever one desires; Iṣṭva: possessing absolute lordship; Vaśtva: the power to subjugate all) and nine forms of wealth (the nine divine treasures or jewels of Kuvera - padma (lotus), mahapadma (great lotus), sankha (conch shell), makara (marine animal or fish), kachchhapa (tortoise), mukunda (kettle drum), ananda (joy), nila (a dark color or blue), and kharva (dwarf)) to seekers.
räma rasäyana tumhare päsä
sadä raho raghupati ke däsä
You possess the elixir of devotion to Lord Rama, and you remain His ever-devoted servant.
tumhare bhajana räma ko pävai
janama janama ke dukha bisarävai
Singing your praises, we get closer to Lord Rama and forget all about the misery of countless previous births.
anta käla raghubara pura jäé
jahäð janma haribhakta kahäé
Any person remembering Lord Rama at the time of death such a person will go to the abode of Lord Rama and in case of re-birth he shall be born as a devotee of the Lord
aura devatä chitta na dharaé
hanumata seé sarba sukha karaé
One who worships Hanumanji with single- pointed devotion enjoys all bliss.
sankata katai mitai saba pérä
jo sumirai hanumata balabérä
All difficulties and sufferings are destroyed for the devotee who lives in the constant remembrance of the valiant Lord Hanuman.
jai jai jai hanumäna gosäyein
krupä karahu guru deva ké näyein
Glory, glory, all glory to Lord Hanuman! The master of organs of perception and action! Please shower me with your grace just like my own guru.
jo sata bära pätha kara koyee
chütahi bandi mahä sukha hoyee
He who recites this Hanuman Chalisa a hundred times is released from the bondage of birth and death and enjoys the absolute bliss of immortality.
jo yaha patai hanumäna calésä
hoya siddhi säkhé gaurésä
Lord Siva Himself bears witness that one who recites this Hanuman Chalisa regularly will be successful in accomplishing his goal of attaining perfection.
tulasédäsa sadä hari cherä
kéjai nätha hrudaya manha derä
Tulasidasji says that he is ever in the service of the Lord and requests Him to come and reside in his heart.

dohä
pavanatanaya sankata harana mangala mürati rüpa
räma lakhana sétä sahita hrudaya basahu sura bhüpa
O Lord Hanuman! You are destroyer of all miseries and the very embodiment of all auspiciousness. O king of the gods! Please come and dwell in my heart along with Ramji, Lakshmanji and Sitaji.

The month of Aadi

2010-07-22T17:54:00.004+05:30

The month of aadi (Mid July to Mid August) is considered very auspicious amongst Tamils in South India. This tamil month marks the beginning of all festivals during the festival season. The word Aadi is derived from the Sanskrit word aash-adi. Aadi falls during the second half of the year known as Dakshinayanam when the Sun transits from the northern hemisphere to the Southern during July.

This whole month is special for the feminine powers that exists in this galaxy which is symbolized in various forms of "Ammans".

"Amman" or "Shakti" is the primordial cosmic energy that moves through the entire universe. It is the personification of divine feminine creative power referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' inVedic traditions. The month of Aadi is considered very auspicious to connect oneself to this Divine power.

Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays of this tamil calendar month are auspicious. Fridays witness a lot of specially organized festivities in the rural parts with chanting of mantras and devotional songs, people visiting temples and organizing community services. The whole state of Tamil nadu buzzes with activity with stores offering good deals to draw customers and boost sales, etc.

Devout Hindus visit temples and perform special pujas on the Fridays. The Aadi Velli is of great significance to women as numerous rituals are performed in the month. Majority of the people also worship snakes during the month.

Other auspicious days include 'Aadi Pandigai' (the first day of the month), 'Thiru-aadi-pooram' (the birth day of Aandaal - one of the 12 aazhwaars), 'Varalakshmi Pooja' ( Married women participate in this pooja for prosperity and well being of their family members), 'Aadi amavasai' (auspicious to perform memorial services to our ancestors), 'Aadi perukku' (18th day from the beginning of the calendar month marked to celebrate the free flow of the river Cauvery), 'Aadi Kruthigai' (for Lord Muruga).

Well this month is NOT considered auspicious for weddings and newly weds. Some newly-wed brides go to their maternal homes for a whole month (vacation). The legend goes like if a child is conceived during this phase Jul-Aug, the child will be born around Apr-May which is summer and not the ideal time to have a baby because of the heat. But, with the advent of air con’s, greater medical care and luxury travel this might be passe. Nevertheless, the legend continues.

Also other functions like Housewarming, shifting to a new house, are avoided. The logic that elders back home give is that, during this month, because we perform tarpanams during this month. However, I liked one logic that my friend once gave me. "All auspicious functions have oil lamps burning. During Aadi, the winds are strongest. If during the ceremony the wind blows and the lamps get blowed off or any other similar thing happens, people would consider it as unauspicious. Why take the risk?"

Well, Aadi is special for me, as I get something new to wear during fridays (if not all fridays, atleast on one). And I generally feel more religious during Fridays of Aadi, Thai and Navrathri.
Special days for Special people I guess!!

Birth of Bliss

2010-06-17T12:40:00.002+05:30

In this haphazard jumble of pictures, numbers and words that clog up each day,
Between our first and last winks something seems to be lacking in our way.
I once termed exploring as the way of life.
Now, as the circular arguments chase to cut our throats with a knife,
An ultimate reality, is that in this wild chase of success, we've lost hold of excellence.
In our modern philosophy, with a grey silence we say 'there is just this'.
Amidst heavy pollution, these skies now gleem greyish showing us the new birth of bliss.

Fading Relationships - Just Memories

2010-01-21T12:07:00.003+05:30

'My World' that WAS

Is Fading Before My Eyes.
Relationships change priorities

Some forced by time

Some by people!!

Happy Memories Fade too
No One Is Near Me,
No One is Really Dear to Me
I Scream For Help, But No One Comes.
People who cared No longer dare

People who dare - don't really care!!

That Old Cheerfulness Is Gone
Life is No Longer the Same
No One's Here To Help Me.
I Just Sit Here Alone
For Practicality I Have Paid a High Price
Nostalgic memories somehow creep
I Can Only Weep !
Life is never the Same
Never will those Good days return Nor will those People
Oh! Lord – Why give me people to Love ?
Why give me memories ?
Why? Oh Why?

Recent Realizations

2009-08-04T10:10:00.002+05:30

1. Marriages are made in heaven but lived on earth.
2. Not all dreams come true.
3. Once you have made a choice, you can always extend the life span.
4. Life isn't one big compromise on one side alone.
5. To teach a grown up, it is sufficient to mention once or twice. If it is ignored, it shows that the person is not ready to be taught yet.
6. Compatibility is not taught but learnt, it is an effort.
7. By no means can one make the other person understand something if the other person is not willing to understand first.
8. Stop teaching! Learn yourself!!
9. Differences are not always meant to be sorted out. Many of them can be enjoyed.
10. Not every wrong needs to be corrected.
11. Never lose focus in life in exchange for the high hopes of marriage.
12. Every relation is meant to give you some tips of life.

Sasthi-Abda-Poorthi

2009-06-18T10:00:00.004+05:30

Y'day "Ammumma" (Grand mom) called up to remind me that my uncle is completing 60 years of his presence on this earth today. "Sasthi-Abda-Poorthi", She said.
I knew the meaning, but not its significance. So I searched for some info, and Look what I found..

Turning sixty is a social-religious event in India especially in south. Shashtiabdapoorthi is a family event, when a 're-marriage 'of the couple, is performed .This unusual custom marked by rituals, reverberating with the 'mantras ' is spiritually and mentally rejuvenating for a couple who are 'graduageing'. Witnessed by the next generaton,it is a social event that reflects continuity. When a person reaches 60, he is in the year of the same name as in which he was born and hence the successful completion of one cycle. So, we give thanks for this longivity and pray for a trouble-free old age.

The social, religious and spiritual connotations of this function

When a man turns sixty it is not just another birthday that is to be celebrated with usual greetings,,gifts,cards,flowers,cake and candles. While it may include all that ,it also calls for no less than a sacred Vedic celebration called Sashtiabdapoorti:'Shasti' being 60,'Abdam' the year, with 'Poorti' signifying the completion of 60 years in a man's lifetime.

It is also a happy event that reinforces the existing bond between the man and his wife and is expressed in the unusual custom of a remarriage of the couple watched fondly by a retinue of children grandchildren ,relations and friends.

At sixty ,man had crossed only 50% of his life because the actual span of his life is 120 years according to Vedas. A 60th year, which is just half the span of time originally given to man is considered a critical period .According to the science of Hindu numerology, 6 happens to be an uneasy number and therefore 60 is a time when the ruling planet of a person may have an adverse effect on a man's life; He performs a religious Shanti, a measure undertaken to ensure good health, peace and longevity.
The following deities and great souls and rishis are propitiated and worshipped.

Mrutyunjaya, Brahma, Vishnu, Rudra, Markandeya, Navagrahas (The Sun, Angaraka, ukra, Soma (Moon), Budha, Brihaspati, Saniswara, Rahu & Kethu), Sapata Chiranjeevins (Aswathama, mahabali, Vyasa, Hanuman, Vibheeshana, Krupa and Parasurama), Ayur Devata, Samvatsara Devatas, Nakshatra Devatas, Ashtadikpalas, Saaptha Rishis.

All these devatas, great souls and rishis are pleased by the repeated chanting of their mantras, offering pujas, homams in Agni with appropriate samits and they bless the person celebrating 60th birth day.

The main aspect of celebration is Kumbha or Kalasa stapanam. There are rules governing how and where these Kalasas are to be placed, and this will be guided to the householder by the Vedic scholars conducting the rituals and the sanctification process is religiously observed. The following 11-mangala dravyas are to be applied.

Gorochana: To be applied on the heads of Husband and wife for longevity, health, fame, courage and prosperity.
Cow's milk curd: To smear a small quantity on their foreheads (for prosperity, sweet, fragrance and comforts around for ever).
Cow's Ghee: Smeara little amount of cow's ghee on their eyelids. (For brightness, good appearance and good conduct.)
Green grass: Keep few grass on their heads (Longevity, devoid of diseases and for very strong body).
Cow's milk: A spoonful of cow's milk should be sprinkled on their heads (for strength and longevity).
Fruits: Touch fruits with hands.
Flowers: wear flowers on the heads with veneration.
Mirror: see the faces in the mirror (for disappearance of poverty evil devatas and ugliness).
Lighted Lamp: See the lighted lamp (Let there not be darkness, intelligence and lack of knowledge).
Earth soil: Touch the earth brought from beneath the Tulsi plant.
Gold: Keep a gold coin or an ornament on the head. The gold removes all sins and brings comforts.

After mangala dravyas are applied the couple take bath in sanctified water from the Kalasa wherein rituals are already performed.

The Japas to be chanted during the rituals are: Rudra Gayathri, Tryambakam, Yaajamahe, Vedas, Dikpala mantras, Apo Hisshta, Hiranya varnaPavamanye, Varuna, Braahman, Vishnu, Rudra, Durga, Sri Bhoosuktani, Rudram, Chamakam, Putrushasooktham, Gruthasooktham, Panchasanthi and Navagraha Mantras.

Homam include mainly Svishtakrita homam and Jayathi Homam.The ardra vastra and Kumbha Vastra are to be offered to Brahmins. The clothes worn during the time of Abhishekam i.e the Dhoti and upper cloth, the sari and the blouse worn by the consort of the performer and the cloth wrapped around the Kumbhas as well icons kept in the Kumbha should be offerred to the priests who performed the rituals.

Now comes Dhana (give aways to the priests). Phaladhanam is to be given to all the participants towards mutual wish of gratitude. The giver pleases the receiver and the receiver blesses the giver.

Finally mangalya puja is performed with chanting of mantra. Then the wife is seated facing eastwards and the husband stand facing north. He ties the mangaalya around the neck of his wife with the blessings of all Gods, Goddesses and Rishis. Thus the celebration comes to an auspicious end.
Its a real blessing to see one's parents' wedding. :-)

80th. birthday is the next milestone when a person is felicitated for having seen " a thousand full -moons ( sahasra Chandra Darshanam)".

I wish my cousins would perform his 80th B'day too.

In another 4 years, my father is headed towards his Sasthi-abda-poorthi. Let me see, what I do then. :-)

Bioscope - A Flash back - 19th March 2007

2009-06-09T15:11:00.002+05:30

A news about an up coming wedding came in today. My memories went back to 19th March 2007. The day that my wedding got finalised.

Just as in a typical Indian scenario, the match making was "arranged" by parents.
My father was clueless about who RJ (my Father in Law) was. All he knew was, the would-be groom's family were pious, simple, smiling and very down-to-earth people. He was satisfied that the groom to be was professionally qualified like his daughter and seemed courteous (& shy) by nature. No questions asked, the decision was taken.

I was the one having a sudden bombardment of a thousand questions in my heart. It was really overwhelming. "Me?" "Getting married?" "Sharing space?" "Adjusting?" "Accommodating?" ...on those lines...

Another set of questions like "What am I taking up?" "Am I prepared enough to accept the transition from Miss to Mrs.?" "What about the roles I've got to play now?" "Customs?" "Ways of the family" "Handling relatives" "What about balancing the new set of people with the old set?" "Career shift?"

I remember calling up my Granny in Mumbai. "Granny, I am scared. I don't know the gravity of the new role and responsibility that is going to come. More over, What am I going to do in that new family? What will happen to this family? "

Granny laughed and said "Have an open mind".

Am I open enough?? the question still lingers

Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T11:38:00.003+05:30

At the outset,
On the New Calendar Year, I wish you and all your near and dear ones

A Very Happy & Prosperous New Year ahead.

Let every dawn beginning 01.01.2009 bring all of you

mental peace, harmonious surroundings,

economic betterment, physical fitness and

shower delight and sparkle in your every day life.

The year that went by...was really eventful. Few green memories. Many grey memories.
A little smile, loads of tears, fireworks..what not.

To list a few good things that happened,

My trips abroad - Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Durban.
Meeting K.J. Yesudas, Mithunda..
Meeting top business men in the world.
Meeting my Uncles after a loooong loong time.
Travelling extensively within India.
My MIL's eventful 60th B'day celebrations.
My FIL's very simple 70th B'day celebrations.
My SIL's baby shower.
MIL's photos in the papers (Various contests) and appearance in the TV.
Endless exchange of gifts between me and my co-sis.
Field trips with family to Ooty and Parambikulam.
My New Job.
New friends.
My first Wedding anniversary (Not very eventful. But it was my first).
Bhargavaa's school projects and fancy dress competitions.
Special weekend cooking.

Everything passed on..just like that.

And Y'day. The New Year Eve...With my husband.
He really made the day for me.

A bottle of perfume, chocolates. More importantly..that single red rose. Co-incidentally I too got him a perfume which has almost the same fragrance.

Being the first one to wish him and being wished by him exactly by 12 was thrilling. Last year I was on the train at that moment. This moment made up for the previous year also.

I was the first one to get wished by my FIL too. Being wished by RJ!! That was good.

On my visit to the temples today, I stood by my husband and prayed that both our dreams should come true. There are lot of aspirations and dreams for the New Year for us (both as individuals and as a couple).

Only with HIS grace, things on professional and personal front should improve.

Today the Office has opened with colourful balloons, floral arrangements.

I hope things on the official front also is as beautiful as the ambience today...throughout the year.

One Big Gamble

2008-10-29T17:00:00.005+05:30

Taking Risk is part of everybody's life.

Everybody has one way or the other to mitigate the Risk.

But the Biggest Risk - The Biggest Gamble that one goes through in life is "Marriage".

A combination of emotions, character, habits. These exist in any relationship. But it is only in a Marital relationship that these often come upstream.

Accepting people as they are, accepting words, actions, thoughts, opinion is not often easy.

Well, that isn't the only factor that makes Marriage a living nightmare...there are more...to list a few..

* Communication is the key to a successful marriage. But how to communicate? There is no thumb rule for 'Effective communication' especially when it comes to spouse.

* The flexibility that is there with outsiders is a 'restricted area' for the spouse alone. Why me...and Why not She?

* Requests turn into Tantrum only when they are unheeded.

* Blame game -> "I don't like this in you...I don't like that in you..."

* Not a single positive part noticed -> "You do have positive things in you? I never noticed. I remember only things I hate about you. So I don't care about things I love about you"

* Never share a single word of appreciation -> "Oh...Praise em...Raise em....Beware".

* Tongue lashing -> "You are the Only one who gets angry and shouts. (Tone higher than the other)."

* Bad memories - unfulfilled dreams - unshared aspirations.

* Bringing back History as reference - You did this that day.

* Every attempt to seek attention is treated as attempt to exploit.

* Lack of sensitivity - seeing things from the other's point of view.

* NO TIME!!!

* Sharing of Love - Public or private has to be unconditional and fearless.

* Care - "Oh I care. It's not visible that's all."

* Titbits of giving - "Oh...Has love got to be material only?? Why waste Money??"

* Sharing of Information - "Talk about money honey...rest all is a big waste of time"

No matter how many compromises and sacrifices are made....marriage can be sweet only when both hearts are willing to be flexible.

It takes 2 to Tango...

Do we really have to manipulate people to get things done?

The concept of "Me" has to change to "We". Until then, its a daily battle.

Unconditional Love is often put to a fire test. Prayers, councelling, Attitude - everything helps.

Dreams Unlimited...

60 Ways to score points with a woman

2008-10-16T09:26:00.001+05:30

60 Ways to score points with a woman

– By John Gray

(Author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)

(It could be your Wife/Girl Friend/Mom)

1. Upon returning home find her first before doing anything else and give her a hug

2. Ask her specific questions about her day that indicate an awareness of what she was planning to do (Like "How did your meeting go?")

3. Practice listening and asking questions

4. Resist the temptation to solve her problems - empathize instead

5. Give her 20 minutes of unsolicited, quality attention

6. Sometimes bring her, flowers

7. Ask what she wants to do on the weekends

8. Sometimes offer to make dinner

9. Compliment her on how she looks (Don't be sarcastic or nasty)

10. Validate her feelings when she is upset

11. offer to help her when she is tired

12. Schedule extra time when travelling so that she does not have to rush

13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know

14. When she asks for support say yes or no without making her feel wrong for asking

15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her "I'm sorry you feel hurt"

16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know that you need some time to think about things

17. When you've cooled off, talk about what was bothering you in respectful, non-blaming way.

18. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or newspaper or turn off the TV and give her your full attention

19. Notice when she is upset or tired or unwell, ask what she has to do and offer help by doing few things for her.

20. If you are going out, ask her if she wants something to be picked up at the store - and Remember to get it from the store

21. Let her know when you are planning to take a nap or leave.

22. Sometimes give her a hug.

23. Call her from work to ask how she is.

24. Keep your things neat.

25. Fold your bedsheet or offer help when she is folding yours.

26. Don't leave dirty socks for her to pick up - least you can do, if not wash, is to put them to wash.

27. When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number where you can be reached and to let her know that you arrived safely.

28. Take her side first, when she is upset. If necessary make her see the other side - later.

29. Be patient when she is sharing. Don't look at your watch.

30. Don't flick the remote control to different channels, when she is watching TV with you. Ask her if she is watching something specific before changing the channel

31. Its ok to sometimes display affection in public. Holding hands or putting your hand over her shoulder isn't indecent in any part of the world.

32. When holding hands don't let your hand go limp.

33. Suggest restaurants for going out; don't put the burden of figuring out where to go - always on her.

34. Create occassions to dress up. Taking her to public functions of your colleagues is Ok.

35. Be understanding when she is late

36. Pay attention to her than to others(only) in public. She is not a stranger.

37. Buy little presents - a small chocolate or a toffee may be. Its just a gesture.

38. Take pictures of her on special occasions

39. Offer to go on Long drives - sometimes.

40. Drive slowly and safely.

41. Notice how she is feeling and comment on it - "You look happy today" or "You look tired" - and then ask her "How was your day?"

42. Read out loud - sections of the newspaper that would interest her.

43. Open the door for her. Don't always Bang it when going out or coming in.

44. Offer to carry groceries or heavy items for her.

45. Don't chat with somebody else on the Mobile, when you have gone shopping with her. Its her turn to get some of your attention. Not share with it with a virtual person sitting elsewhere.

46. Sometimes compliment her cooking.

47. When listening to her talk, use eye contact.

48. Touch her with your hand sometimes, when you talk to her.

49. If she has been sick in some way, ask how she is doing or feeling.

50. Say Bye when you leave.

51. Use good humour and laugh with her.

52. Notice when she gets her hair done, and give a reasuring compliment.

53. Create special time to be alone together.

54. Don't answer the phone on special occasions or when she is sharing vulnerable feelings.

55. Let her know that your missed her when you went away.

56. Bring home her favourite dish or pastry or dessert sometimes.

57. Help in household chores like changing the bulb, drying out clothes

58. Call her up to tell her the Lunch was good (If she has prepared it for you)

59. Sometimes, say a Thank you, when she does things for you.

60. Be caring, Negotiate in a manner that shows her you want her to get what she wants and you also want what you want.

Body Balance

2008-10-16T09:23:00.002+05:30

If you were to treat your body as your asset,
Remember, everytime the weight of the asset grows up,
to balance, you might incure more liability.

The body is an appreciating asset until some time.
But after that, it becomes a depreciable asset.
Make provisions now, else you'd be sorry.

Small things

2008-02-29T15:00:00.002+05:30

Life has plenty of small things to be considered. It may not be material for one person but for the other it might be.
Looking at the increasing rate of divorce cases, it looks like the tolerance rate has gone down pretty much amongst couples.
But on the otherside, on a closer scrutiny it seems it is only the smaller things which ultimately lead to bigger rifts in life.
The understanding that needs to exist between couple has to be strong and stable.
According to me the spouse has to be the best friend to the other.
Effort has to be from either side to keep up the friendship.
It does not matter if the marriage was arranged or it was a self decision.
Parents ultimately want their child to be happy in a life together with somebody else.
These days some have long-distance marriage relationships. The couple being together and spending some time for each other is a big deal.
The growing number of DINKS is an example for this. (DINKS - Double Income No Kids).
We are tolerant with unknown faces, little known colleagues, overpowering bosses and every other stranger.
Can't we be a little appreciative and tolerant with our spouses.
Little appreciation, little words of endearment at small things would go a long way.
A wife beaming at her husband's little gifts, wishing him to have a nice day at office is a small thing to do.
A husband sharing his office experiences with her, appreciating the food prepared, waiting for her to come and have atleast one meal with her without being immersed in paper or TV (that's just 15 minutes in a day mind you) is just a small investment in life.
Criticism with each other is a definite NO NO. Surely there must be some better way to put forward our opinion.
Swallow the bitter pill and have a sweet mouth towards the spouse.
Why should it hurt the ego to express love towards the spouse. Let the Shyness go for a six when it comes to spouse and see the married life make a century.

Life is too short to be wasted on anger! Make it Sweet. Share it with your Sweetheart!! For ever and ever...

Taare Zameen Par - A very good Movie

2007-12-29T10:07:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I saw the movie Taare Zameen Par. An Excellent movie about a boy called Ishaan Awasthi who is affected by Dyslexia. And how an art teacher helps him to recover.
The portrayal of characters are really good.
The initial scene show how the boy acts his age. He fights when provoked. But he is scared of his own anger and his own lapses. Though he puts up a brave front he runs. He runs to weep in isolation. He is hurt, but doesn't want anybody else to see him during his weak moments.

His father is a typical father who expects his children to excel and is unable to settle for anything less that the best. Be it his elder son Yohaan or his younger one Ishaan. He is unable to understand the younger one's problems and tries to discipline him.

The portrayal of a caring mother and protective brother are all too good. The characterisation of the elder brother is good. Yohaan is good in his own work. At the same time he is protective of his Younger brother also. Ishaan is honest to confess to his brother that he bunked school. Yohaan is a Partner in crime when it comes to bailing off his Kid-brother by writing an absent note to the teacher. Unfortunately crime is not hidden too very often and our hero gets caught and is packed off to a boarding school as all his teachers complain he is not concentrating and is not learning properly. No one is able to identify Dyslexia that easily.

Boarding school is no different to the boy initially. The boy is of the opinion that boarding school is a place where naughty boys are sent as a punishment. But when he comes to know about the otherwise, he feels he has been uniquely punished by his parents alone and withdraws himself into a shell. Things change when a new art teacher enters and is able to see himself in a miniature form. He makes it a point to inform the boy's parents and takes a chance in tutoring the boy himself. Results are seen. The boy who had lost his self confidence completely wins a painting competition in school and is back on the right track.

There were some scenes which were really touching.
The anger in the child, the fear in him was all reasonable. He refuses to speak a word when he comes to know his parents are not coming to visit him.
The portrayal of the boy wanting to be alone peeping down the valley, yet when his friend falls down, the kind boy comes and helps his friend stand up. Unlike other kids, Ishaan does not make fun of the polio affected boy with whom he teams up instantly. He understands that like him, the other boy too has his limitations.

He was unable to explain because he is used to fighting his own battles in his own way. He is good in painting and crafts. The way he makes an instant water chopper the day he realises that he isn't the only one in the world with the problem exhibits his intelligence.

In the class, When the teacher is describing all symptoms that he has and asks the students if they are able to identify the person with that problem, this kid's head goes deep under with shame. But the moment it is made known as Albert einstein, the surprise in the boy's face is really too good to miss.

The fighting nature in the boy prevents him from expressing his fears. The moment he is announced the winner also, an odd shyness creeps in and he finds it difficult to come in public to accept the honour. But the moment he takes the certificate he loses his self control and bursts out showing his own real happiness in overcoming his problem by hugging that one person who understood him.

The father concerned once comes to the school to tell the master that he cares for his son and that is why he has got complete knowledge about dyslexia from the internet. The moment the teacher tells him, that real care is not in collecting information but in expressing it to the child and make him feel secure, the father is devastated over himself. He walks off without even meeting his kid.

In more than one ways, somehow I could relate to Ishaan. No I am not dyslexic. But the inherent fear, the loneliness. Ishaan used painting as his let out. I tried it with my social skills. At one point of time, I withdrew even further. The real me is alive when I am alone. I roam the streets like Ishaan. I sit in isolation like Ishaan. Because I am not constantly monitored then. Even if I try to explain there is no body to understand.

For Ishaan there was one Ram Shankar Nikumbh. I am yet to be blessed.

The Magic words.

2007-12-18T13:59:00.000+05:30

The hurried exit out of the Wedding hall into the car was creating an unusual anxiety in me. He was beside. There was an eerie silence in the car. The journey upto the new home that stretched nearly for twenty minutes was creating so many waves of thoughts stretching from my past to the present and future.

I had heard about the bridal send off at weddings. They were supposed to be tearful moments. But there was nothing of the sort here. It was a very silent night. Pardon the pun, it was supposed to be a holy night too.

Everything was calm. I lowered the car window shield. The air was little cold. Though covered in silk, I was perspiring. Fear!! Of What?? I knew not.

I looked at him. He wasn't looking at me. He was preoccupied. Holding his hand firmly to the handle of the door. What was he thinking of?? I then looked away. Probably I shouldn't make him conscious. I was aware I was staring at him. It was asthough I was seeing him for the first time.

Destination reached. He dashed off as though that was the first thing he wanted to do. I stepped out. A new wave of fear now gripped me. I turned to look around. All faces were known to me. Yet, they all seemed new to me. New relationships. New responsibilities my relatives had reminded me of. None of these responsibilities were scaring me. It was just me I was scared off.

The rituals that were supposed to be followed, well it started off with an auspicious act of lighting a lamp, calling for the divine light to throw light over the dark future that lay ahead of me and scared me about the unknown.

Though seated later, the body language that emulated was clear - Uncomfortable.

Climbing the stairs - now I was asking silently "Should I do it? Please can somebody help me calm my nerves".

Withing a matter of few minutes, I found myself alone. Alone in the room with him.

I thought I was on the verge of having a heart attack. Because despite the fan, AC and cool climate outside, I was sweating so profusely.

I even changed the attire from silks to something more comfortable in cotton, atleast that would absorb my sweat. Even the sound of the zipper was deafening to me. I changed inside the restroom attached. But opening the door again to enter the other room again. Should I do it?? Should I do it??

Thankfully, he had also changed to his normal attire. I was getting tensed already with his presence in the room. With the traditional attire, he was only tensing me all the more. Now why should an attire tense me? I never got an answer for that question.

My heart was in my mouth. I could feel my mouth shiver with every heart beat. In another few moments if I continued, I was sure to faint and the doctor would have to be called in. Oh no!! This man did no crime to deserve such a punishing embarrasement.

I tried to speak something. But whatever I wanted to convey was not the one what actually came out. I felt I was squeeking instead. I tried telling myself, "You are not losing your head". "You have a long way to go". I don't remember what I was telling him and what he was telling me or asking me. What ever was happening, was over my head. I cared so less about what was being conversed. I was so conscious of the heart beat alone. Any moment now!! Any moment now!!

Nothing was working. I looked at him. Was the expression that was on his face trying to tell me, that the same thoughts that were going through me are occupying his mind also. His face and features were so familiar to me. Yet so strange. Perhaps he was a little more than a stranger to me!! I couldn't even look to his eyes. Shyness!! That was odd to me. But yes I was shy too.

My heart said, he is trying to control too many things. His fears, his confusions everything is just like the ones I am experiencing.

The silence was too much to bear.
The aroma that was around was giving me a headache. Not that it was so unbearable. But I was already a bundle of nerves.

Then his voice broke the silence.
Perhaps, I heard wanted to hear those words from him for such a long time now.

He said the magic words.

He said......

"Just sleep"....

Lord Byron...er...Sreejith again...

2007-12-05T14:21:00.001+05:30

Lord Byron...or commonly called as Sreejith by we friends, was at his poetic bliss again on seeing my wedding snap.

He writes...

"Hi,
YOU ARE GREAT!!!! because you are trying to keep up relationships - Keep going. I remember writing once in a poetry or so, something like - "Relationships are not to be broken when you get new relationships, where communication makes relationships and relationships make communication necessary." - but I realize how much expressive I was in a dream world but how much reticent I am in reality.

Infant, I wish to be, for aeons,
for I may be amnestied for my cons,
for I will be touched, loved and cared for,
for nothing in return for them, who make my yore."

Flash Moments - Again

2007-12-05T14:08:00.000+05:30

This Sunday, I woke up with a nagging headache. No specific reason. I tried distracting myself with some work but then it was still persisting.
Throughout the day, the trip to a temple, or watching a movie or trying to sleep was not really of any help.

I tried going to my friend's place and being with her. I poured out my heart to her. But then, it only increased the pain bring back painful memories.

I headed to Udhavum Karangal.

All this while I was like in a trance. Only reacting.
The moment the kids touched me, I felt a snap in front of my face. Like someone snapped me out of my trance.

The kids wanted me to tell them a story. I told them the story of Krishna & Sudhaama. I did not finish the story though..You know ...Kids...I wasn't really very good in my story telling skill I guess (should remember to develop that skill too).

Then I was transported to their play ground. The kids brought a basket ball which wouldn't qualify for playing basket ball if not for it's orangish colour.

They had their own rules of playing football. When I did teach them my own ameturish trick of playing football. Well I am not sure about the kids, I sure did enjoy it. The smile on the kids was making my day better.

Well, the idiot box that I carry with me (The cellular phone) rang to bring me back from bliss to my current reality.

But the smiles on their faces...with no hidden expectations from us..was bliss. That was a "Flash" moment for me that day.

Aditya hridhayam

2007-10-15T17:31:00.000+05:30

Verses 1,2 :

Having found Rama weary with fighting and buried in deep thought, and Rávan standing before him ready to engage in battle, the holy Agastya, who had come to see the battle, approached Ráma and spoke to him thus:

Verses 3,4, and 5:

O mighty Rama, listen to the old mystery by which thou wilt conquer all thy foes in the battle. Having daily repeated the Adityahridaya (the delighter of the mind of the Sun) the holy prayer which destroys all enemies (of him who repeats it) gives victory, removes all sins, sorrows and distress, increases life, and which is the blessing of all blessings.

Verses 6 – 15:

Worship the rising and splendid sun who is respected by both the Gods and demons, who gives light to all bodies and who is the rich lord of all the worlds. Since yonder sun is full of glory and all gods reside in him (he being their material cause) and bestows being and the active principle on all creatures by his rays; and since he protects all deities, demons and men with his rays.

He is Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, Skanda, Prajapati, Mahendra, Dhanada, Kala, Yama, Soma, Apam Pati i.e. The lord of waters, Pitris, Vasus, Sadhyas, Asvins, Maruts, Manu, Vayu, Vahni, Praja, Prana, Ritukarta, Prabhakara, Aditya, Savita, Surya, Khaga, Pushan, Gabhastiman, Suvarnasadrisa, Bhanu, Hiranyaretas, Divakara, Haridasva, Sahasrarchish, Saptasapti, Marichiman, Timironmathana, Sambhu, Twashta, Martanda, Ansuman, Hiranyagarbha, Sisira, Tapana, Ahaskara, Ravi, Agnigarbha, Aditiputra, Sankha, Sisiranasana, Vyomanatha, Tamobhedi, Rigyajussamaparaga, Ghana-vrishti.

Apam-Mitra, Vindhyavithiplavangama, Atapi, Mandali, Mrityu (death), Pingala, Sarvatapana, Kavi, Visva, Mahatejas, Rakta, Sarvabhavodbhava. The Lord of stars, planets, and other luminous bodies, Visvabhavana, Tejasvinam-Tejasvi, Dwadasatman.

Verses 16 – 20:

I salute thee, I salute thee who art the eastern mountain. I salute thee who art the western mountain. I salute thee who art the Lord of all the luminous bodies. I salute thee who art the Lord of days. I respectfully salute thee who art Jaya, Jayabhadra, Haryasva, O Thou who hast a thousand rays, I repeatedly salute thee. I repeatedly and respectfully salute thee who art Aditya, I repeatedly salute thee who art Ugra, Vira, and Saranga. I salute thee who openest the lotuses (or the lotus of the heart). I salute thee who art furious. I salute thee who art the Lord of Brahma, Siva and Vishnu. I salute thee who art the sun, Adityavarchas, splendid, Sarvabhaksha, and Raudravapush.

Verses 21 – 24:

I salute thee who destroyest darkness, cold and enemies: whose form is boundless, who art the destroyer of the ungrateful; who art Deva; who art the Lord of the luminous bodies, and who appearest like the heated gold. I salute thee who art Hari, Visvakarman, the destroyer of darkness, and who art splendid and Lokasakshin. Yonder sun destroys the whole of the material world and also creates it. Yonder sun dries (all earthly things), destroys them and causes rain with his rays. He wakes when our senses are asleep; and resides within all beings. Youder sun is Agnihotra and also the fruit obtained by the performer of Agnihotra. He is identified with the gods, sacrifices, and the fruit of the sacrifices. He is the Lord of all the duties known to the world.

Verses 25 – 30:

If any man, O Raghava, in calamities, miseries, forests and dangers, prays to yonder sun, he is never overwhelmed by distress.

Worship, with close attention Him the God of gods and the Lord of the world; and recite these verses thrice, whereby thou wilt be victorious in the battle. O brave one, thou wilt kill Ravana this very instant."

Thereupon Agastya having said this went away as he came. The glorious Rama having heard this became free from sorrow. Raghava whose senses were under control, being pleased, committed the hymn to memory, recited it facing the sun, and obtained great delight. The brave Rama having sipped water thrice and become pure took his bow, and seeing Ravana, was delighted, and meditated on the sun.

Aditya Hridayam - Literal translation - by one Venkat

2007-10-15T17:26:00.000+05:30

Aadityta Hridyam is part of the Yuddha Kaanda (or the war chapter) of Valmiki Ramayana.

1&2
Sage Agastya arrived at the battlefield to watch two warriors – Lord Rama and the demon king of Lanka – the ten headed Ravana. Due to incessant war the tired Ravana rested a little and got ready for war again. As Lord Rama was wondering as to how the formidable Ravana could be bested, Agastya began his advice to (Lord Rama to) do the same.

3
O long limbed Rama, dear Child, I will now reveal to you an ancient secret (method) to win against one’s adversaries. Listen to me (therefore), carefully.

4
Chanting the (divine verse) Aaditya Hridayam would grant you merits. The verse will help you annihilate all your foes. It is very auspicious and (will render you) beyond destruction.

5
The best amongst auspicious verses, (Aaditya Hridayam) will destroy all sins, dispel all doubts, worries and increase the longevity of life.

6
Worship the Sun God who is revered by the denizens of heaven and demons alike, (because) His rays reach all corners (of all the stellar systems) and on that count alone, He is said to be the Lord of the world.

7
(The Sun God) protects the Universe through his rays and is considered to be the protector of (all living beings be they) Gods or demons.

8
(Due to the aforesaid qualities), He is Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva (the holy Trinity), Subrahmanya – the generalissimo of the Gods, Indra, Kubera, Yama, Moon and Varuna – all rolled into one.

9
He is also the origin of all beings, embodiment of all (sense of) direction, the soul of the Aswini twins, controller of all atmospheric movements, the life breath of all living beings, and the Lord of all climes – from spring through fall and winter.

10
(These apart), He is one of the progeny of (the mother of creation) Aditi, (and in turn) Creator of every living being on the Universe, protector of all objects moving through space and commands the sense of duty (amongst mortals and immortals alike). He of the golden hue, is the preceptor of intellect.

11
He, who is omnipresent in the eight corners of space, has immeasurable amount of rays, (whose chariot) has seven (celestial) horses. Sun, the God of bliss also decimates those, which are unwanted in the Universe.

12
Being the One who controls the creation, safety and destruction of beings, (the Sun God) is praised by all living beings in the Universe (as He is) the self-controlled origin of Fire (and therefore) the one who destroys frost.

13
The Sun God, who traverses the Vindhyas (a mountain chain in central India), in the second part of the (Lunar) calendar, scatters darkness and the embodiment of the wisdom of the Rig, Yajur and Sama (the first three) Vedas, is the emperor of the Heavens.

14
The round shaped Sun God who rises at dawn in the colour of molten gold, who within himself contains the entire Universe, is the origin of all systems of creation, (by) inhabiting His own Creation, helps (all to) win over enemies, (because) He is benevolent at heart.

15
(I always) Prostrate before (Sun God) who is the head of the important 27 major stars, and all the minor stars, whose brilliance is more than that of (the) Fire (God himself), and who has twelve faces (for 12 months).

16
I prostrate before the One who rises in the east and sets in the west, who is the Lord of daylight (and so should you.).

17
I Worship (therefore so should you) the very embodiment of victory, the sign of auspiciousness, the One who has green coloured horses to carry him.

18
I Worship (so you too should), the brave and terrible one (for his enemies), the one of quicksilver reflexes, the one who makes (all flowers like) the lotus to bloom, and the one who has the final say in creation at the end of the 4 cyclical periods of time–Kritayuga, Threthayuga, Dwaaparayuga and Kaliyuga followed by the Great Flood.

19
I Prostrate before Him (so should you), the first among equals of the (first) three Gods – Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, the One who impels all creations to behave in their ordained, organised way, the One who is in the form of (the brightest) star (in the Universe), and who burns all the unwanted (debris of the Universe), (by His) terrible face.

20
I Pay obeisance (so do the same) to the One who dispels darkness, who (triggers) the melting of snow, who has innumerable attributes, who decimates the ingrate, who shines by His innate glow, and who is the first amongst all the lights of the Universe.

21
I bow (so do the same) before the One who has the colour of molten gold, the (seed of) fire (in Him), who destroys the darkness of ignorance, and who is the witness of all merits and demerits of the denizens who inhabit the universe.

22
He creates the same world he destroys (and ipso facto the same beings within), creates heat by his rays but cools the same by sending down soothing rain.

23
He remains awake when all the living beings in the Universe are asleep, and due to his fierce form, bestows merit on all those who perform the daily fire ritual (Agnihotra).

24
The Sun God is the origin and protector of the four Vedas (Rig, Yajur, Sama, and Atharva), and decides the Universal path.

25
Listen O Rama! Anybody who recites these verses of Aaditya Hridayam during difficult times, or during journeys into (the unknown) forests, or when confronted with fear will never suffer.

26
Without being distracted (by the surroundings) pray thrice (a day) to the Lord of all (mortal and immortal) beings – the Sun God and you shall win (all) your battles.

27
After blessing the long limbed Lord Rama thus, and predicting that He would slay (the demon) Ravana, sage Agastya took leave.

28
His (clouds of) worry thus dispelled, the lustrous (Lord Rama) obeyed (verbatim) the sayings of sage Agastya with great happiness.

29
After purifying himself with water thrice, with undisturbed concentration, the invincible Lord Rama prayed to the Sun God thrice and thereafter picked up his bow (to fight Ravana).

30
Lord Rama thus cheered, advanced towards Ravana in full concentration with a will to slay him.

31
Thus pleased with Lord Rama, the Sun God surrounded by all the Gods in heaven showed him the path to decimate Ravana. Thus ends the Praise of the Sun God in the Yuddha Kaanda (the war chapter) in Valmiki Ramayana.

What Will Matter

2007-09-17T15:28:00.000+05:30

Ready or not,

Someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises,

No minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected,

Whether treasured or forgotten,

Will pass to someone else.

Your wealth,

Fame and temporal power

Will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned

Or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations,

And jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans,

And to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses

That once seemed so important

Will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from,

Or on what side of the tracks you lived,

At the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought,

But what you built,

Not what you got,

But what you gave?

What will matter is not your success,

But your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned,

But what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,

Compassion,

Courage or sacrifice that enriched,

Empowered or encouraged others

To emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence,

But your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,

But how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories,

But the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,

By whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

Its not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

- Author: Michael Josephson.

Don't Quit

2007-07-26T17:07:00.001+05:30

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Courage and Love Of A Butterfly

2007-07-26T17:05:00.000+05:30

by David L. Kuzminski

Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia , I saw a water puddle ahead on the path.
I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked!

Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected.

I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful
butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn't have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again.

He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail.

For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack. Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a
butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier. He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed. Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those
extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her.

Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and
extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed. left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.

Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly's courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

The Last "I Love You"

2007-07-26T16:58:00.000+05:30

Written by Debbi Smoot

Carol's husband was killed in an accident last year. Jim, only fifty-two years old, was driving home from work. the other driver was a teenager with a very high blood alcohol level. Jim died instantly. The teenager was in the emergency room for less than two hours.
There were other ironic twists: It was Carol's fiftieth birthday, and Jim had two plane tickets to Hawaii in his pocket. He was going to surprise her. Instead, he was killed by a drunk driver.

"How have you survived this?" I finally asked Carol, a year later.

Her eyes welled up with tears. I thought I had said the wrong thing, but she gently took my hand and said, "It's all right; I want to tell you. The day I married Jim, I promised I would never let him leave the house in the morning without telling him I loved him. He made the same promise. It got to be a joke between us, and as babies came along, it got to be a hard promise to keep. I remember running down the driveway, saying 'I love you' through clenched teeth when I was mad, or driving to the office to put a note in his car. It was a funny challenge.

"We made a lot of memories trying to say "I love you" before noon every day of our married life.

"The morning Jim died, he left a birthday card in the kitchen and slipped out to the car. I heard the engine starting. Oh, no, you don't, buster, I thought. I raced out and banged on the car window until he rolled it down.

"Here on my fiftieth birthday, Mr James E. Garret, I Carol Garret, want to go on record as saying I love you!"

"That's how I've survived. Knowing that the last words I said to Jim were 'I love you!'

Being the one I am

2007-07-26T16:44:00.000+05:30

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life. One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all
below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he
blew against it - a huge, towering rock. "How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!"

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the
sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be
more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

Moral of the story: BE YOURSELF

A Phase of Turmoil

2007-07-24T12:06:00.000+05:30

The beginning stages of life had been wonderful. Though lonely. Despite the fact that I had the best of everything that parents could afford, I had always felt the lack of a proper companion. A one to share.
But I never did allow it to surface much and kept myself fierce. Many found me aggressive.
As a person I kept a lot of expectations in life towards myself and towards anybody with whom I could relate to.

But as time flew, and I started to physically grow, a minute flicker of fear also grew.
God brought before me some characters who displayed supreme protectiveness towards their younger sibling - more specifically - towards their younger sister.

God showed me my brother then. It was like a dream come true. Though I maintained my aloofness and fierceness even then, slowly I became weak. I let myself thoroughly enjoy the protectiveness and care that my brother showered on me.

Life was perfect - well not without exceptions. I had a family which was complete. I was the apple of everybody's eyes. Name it, I had it. I had a protector, who would share everything exclusively only with me. My life was bound only with 3 people - my parents and brother.
From being fiercely independent, I became completely dependent - emotionally mind it.

My brother was a perfect epitome of a brother. Teetotaller. A perfect Gentleman. A definite no-nonsense person and who also kept everyother woman at bay. He had only two things in life. His passion towards learning new things - from philosophy to technology - perfection was his motto. Next was me. I was the only one - then.

I couldn't ask for more in life. I did move ahead after education, in search of newer pastures to explore my talents in the corporate world. I had my dreams to pursue. I felt I did not need anything else. Marriage, sharing, love (well the one involving a couple), lust, were non-existing terms in my life's dictionary.

I was not aware of the silent storm that was brewing elsewhere. A storm that changed the direction of my life totally.

My brother changed.

He set his life differentially.

When I learnt sailing, I had forgotten to learn swimming too.

Today, I am sailing towards a direction that the storm is taking me towards. But filled with fear.
They say, "Face your past without regret" " Handle your present with confidence" "Prepare for the future without fear."

They say, Change is the only permanent thing in life.

Now, the perfectness in My family no longer exists. Change changed the perfection. Change changed me. Change changed my dreams to nightmares.

I will continue to live. But with regrets. With fears. And stubbornly independent.
I let go of my fierceness once. Look where I reached. Today, I am trying to go back to my square one. Today the non-existing terms are being forced into my life. I have accepted them.

But with a resolve, not to loose my fierceness.

People want me to behave the same way that they all behaved with me to bring the change into somebody else's life. I felt the pain sitting on the other side. Will my ethics allow me to inflict the same. Yes, there will be heart burns. But not as immence as this.

I wish I do not bring such pain to any other living soul. Despite arguments that accuse me of being impractical or immature or stubborn. I did suffer the pains. And I know, pain is Painful.

A word for my brother - Why?

chat with Mr. God in msn

2007-07-24T12:02:00.000+05:30

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "why me? When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who I am, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the day with a new sense of inspiration.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

How to overcome obstacles - a philosophic overview

2007-06-14T11:09:00.000+05:30

My brother read this somewhere and sent it across for me. I am recording it for my posterity.

Some act till they meet obstacles, others act inspite of obstacles, and conquer them; but some act not, fearing the possibility of some obstacles that might arise en route."

The very word OBSTACLE indicates to us the attitude required to overcome obstacles. Invoking these attitudes is to invoke the 'Ganesha' within us -

O - Objective Knowledge - "Knowledge is Power." Gain functional knowledge and skills in your chosen field. Lack of knowhow poses many obstacles.

B - Broadmindedness - "Life, when properly tuned, can round the sharp edges in our character." In a broader vision of Life in its entirety, obstacles are stepping stones to cultivate an inner perfection and an outer excellence.

S - Sensitivity - "Be like a flower. Give happiness and fragrance to all." A flower produces fragrance from mud, dirty water, manure, etc.

T - Toughness - "The Suffering depends not on the factual happening but on the texture of one's mind." Cultivate a 'tough' mind through study of the scriptures, faith in a Higher Reality, value - based life, etc.

A - Alertness - "Alert and vigilant living is a sadhana by itself." Alertness helps one to foresee the 'obstacle' and nip it in the bud.

C - Concentration - "Never complain, about the number of hours you have put in to do a job. How much of you was put into each hour of your daily work ?" The sun's rays (mind) when unified through a convex lens (concentration), burns away a piece of pape r(problems & negativites) below it.

L - Love of God - "Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big God is."

E - Enthusiasm - "Real men of achievement are people who have the heroism to fuel more and more enthusiasm in their work when they face more and more difficulties. Be Agressively good."

Devastated - Nice one

2007-06-13T11:01:00.000+05:30

One Rakshita Verma (God Bless her innocent soul) has written this...

Energy can be transformed
but never destroyed or created.

I am devastated yet not destroyed.
I am shattered, yet not alone.
I am broken, yet am alive.

She concludes saying "Devastated - yet not destroyed".

My brother Mahesh

2007-05-24T10:17:00.000+05:30

The one posing with a hand on his cheek is my bro..Aint he a DUDE!!

29th April 2007 - The Ceremony

2007-05-04T10:14:00.000+05:30

I landed there on Saturday the 28th of April.

Sriram was too busy. So we had not spoken since Thursday. I was not sure if he would be there to attend the function. (Despite family commitment, there was also his professional commitment to consider. I could understand that part of his life quiet well, since I had trodden that path some time in my life too. There was a part of me which felt it would be nice if he was there and also a part which scolded me for not being a professional in heart too). I spoke very less about it to him. I did not want to add up to the queue that was already getting him tensed.

I went by Cheran. His uncle also traveled in the same train. Sriram wasn't there to pick them up from the station. Only his elder brother was there. And he too did not recognize me.

On reaching home, I was in for a sweet surprise. Mom welcomed me in with a aarathi. I was wondering why this special invitation. Enjoy the wind so long as it is blowing. Then I was shocked to see the house so empty. All furnitures were gone. Then my parents told me that they were temporarily shifted to the next house.

After my bath and calming down the mouse that was gnawing my stomach, I saw the ring that mom and dad had made for him. I knew by instinct that Sriram was never going to wear it as it was uncomfortable (worst case - He might knock my head with that very ring only). I wanted to change it. Parents were fussing about it. But I managed to convince them.We had lot of purchases to complete. Fruits, blouse pieces, betel leaves, flowers.With me asking to change the ring, I had terrible shouting from both mom and dad. It was all messy. Then Bhaiyya intervened and convinced them.

We went to the jewelers. Dad was apprehensive "he might not do it. He might charge more". Fortunately, the jeweler was not fussy. We went by12. The Jeweler got the new ring ready by 4 and infact this model cost us less gold and we got a refund also.Then I wanted Panthal for the function. That was also organized.The kids - all wanted Mehendi. After finishing all cleaning, putting kolam, packing the return gifts, then mehendi for the kids, it was around 2 that I slept.

I had some last minute purchases to be made. Anna and Manni only went about doing them. I also had to get Anna to bring a Tape recorder. I wanted James Bond music. The moment the Groom entered, I wanted that music to be played. But I was vetoed. (That was apart from the knock that I received from Anna).

Dad's friends had come by around 8 and simplified most of his work.

Dad woke us up by 4. Chithi put Nalangu for me. I was given mangala snanam by elders. Then they dressed me up in a new saree. I had all goose bumps. I had to rub them down with calamine lotion. :-). Bhabhi had got me lots of flowers. I simply love having a lot of flowers in my hair.

The bridegroom family landed up by 7. Around 50 people came.

Sriram was welcomed with arathi. (My God, he looked too tensed and shy. He was more shy than I was supposed to be).

He was given the official welcome and my parents had given him his engagement attire. (The part of the Shirt needs special mention - I had told him, that if he did not buy a shirt for himself, I would get one for him (Bright yellow with Red stripes!!). So, he got one for himself. He still calls me Ramarajan's sister)

By the time he had changed, I was called in. His parents blessed me and gave me my engagement attire.

It was a nice pink saree that my father-in-law-to-be had selected for me.

His mother gave me a necklace and a ring. Appa gave him his ring.

His mother sang a very nice song on Rama. I was making a mental note (Never ever open your croacking voice in front of these musically trained people!!).

When parents exchanged the Tambulam, his uncle whistled.

After that there was an arathi for both of us. Instead of "Seetha kalyana Vaibohameh", the lyrics were changed as "Manjula Kalyana Vaibohameh"

Sriram's uncles (Mama) were the most jolly ones. Teased both of us.Welcomed me into their family and made me feel very comfortable.All my friends came and met him. And said, they really feel sorry forhim and that he was a big Tyagi.

My kid cousins had worked hard to draft a questionnaireto ask him. Some 15 questions. He answered all of them. Then he did not have anyone to ask me those questions (so sad..).

Then we had breakfast. I was made to sit beside Sriram. I was feeling very shy.But managed to hide it well.

He removed his ring immediately and that ring went inside his pocket. After food, it came back to its place in his finger.His uncles were teasing me asking how I would call him. I said, I will decide later.But when the situation came, I had to call him - some how I called him"Sunoh" and he immediately turned around. That solved that issue I guess. Later I was laughing thinking about it.

I am yet to get over the butterflies that keep flying any time his father speaks to me. Nothing wrong about it. But in my mind, he is still in a Senior auditor - Guru position. Seeing him as my father-in-law -that will need more time I guess.

We were teasing my Kid cousin - Smriti, saying she would also get married. At one point, I took her to Sriram and said, "she wants everything that I get, how about a husband?". He immediately pointed out his kid cousin saying they would make a good pair. Smriti started crying thinking they are really going to get her married.

The Groom's family left by around 11. I went and slept like a log until 4.

Sriram tells me that he was teased to the core. I thanked God that atleast I was spared.

1st May being my (star) birthday, their family members were discussing about the gift he'd give me. He had already given me a gift that I would always cherish. "A Family". I am not sure if he would realize that. But I'd owe him a lot for that single gift alone. This was the first function that I had seen so many people. So far I have not attended even a single engagement ceremony in my life or any function for such a long duration in the last decade at least.This was the first and most memorable one for me. Usually people talk very less about their engagement. Some do carry memories of their wedding. But I don't think I'd forget this one.

Now Today's highlights

2007-04-18T10:32:00.000+05:30

Count

2007-04-10T12:31:00.000+05:30

A Nice one which I read..

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.

A New Phase

2007-04-05T17:26:00.000+05:30

Life is bringing in a new phase. I am getting married. I have read a lot about it. Sensed things. Heard. Yet mind isn't all that set to accept that I am changing.

They say that Change is the only permanent thing in this world. Yet, I resist it so much. I don't know if it is because I am not over loaded with some other priorities that I keep observing the change and resent it so much.

At the same time, the uncertainity that exists in that change also scares the wits out of me. People try to reassure me. But then I am not all that convinced.

Life does revolve around partners being exclusive amongst themselves. I have learnt this the hard way.

Probably that was a turning point in my life that made me decide to approach this new change.

Left alone, I am able to handle things. Accept people and adjust. But when it comes to losing our beloved and learning to prioritise all our thoughts for a total stranger, that isn't something I can digest all that very well.

Worldly wisdom calls me obsessed and advices me to take help. But a mere understanding of the genuine pain that I am going through would make miracles for me - which unfortunately isn't there.

Perhaps it is for time to declare whether my fears were genuine or mere myths. I would be eternally grateful if only they turn out to be myths.

Understanding is something that people say is most important for relationships. But that isn't a day's job.

Well, it's just a beginning.

Article on my Brother

2007-03-29T18:48:00.000+05:30

Modified Song

2007-03-27T19:12:00.000+05:30

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Jabse Meri Aankhon Se Ho Gaye Aap Durr
Tabse Saare Jeevan Ke Sapne Hai Choor
Jabse Meri Aankhon Se Ho Gaye Aap Durr
Tabse Saare Jeevan Ke Sapne Hai Choorr
Aankhon Mein Neend Na Mann Mein chehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Dekho Hum Tum Dono theh Ek Daali Ke Phool
Mein Na Bhooli Aap Kaise Mujhko Gaye Bhool
Dekho Hum Tum Dono theh Ek Daali Ke Phool
Mein Na Bhoola Aap Kaise Mujhko Gaye Bhool
Aap Meri Paas NAa ab tho durr hogaye Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri bhaiyya Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Jeevan Ke sukhon Se yun baagthe Nahi Hai
Aise Mujhe Saaza dehthe Nahi Hai
Jeevan Ke sukhon Se yun baagthe Nahi Hai
Aise Mujhe Saaza dehthe Nahi Hai
Shaadhi khe baadh bhi hum Bhai behen hi Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
la la la la...
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Bhaiyya Hai
oh la la la la..

Song

2007-03-27T19:07:00.000+05:30

Original

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Jabse Meri Aankhon Se Ho Gayi Tu Durr
Tabse Saare Jeevan Ke Sapne Hai Durr
Jabse Meri Aankhon Se Ho Gayi Tu Durr
Tabse Saare Jeevan Ke Sapne Hai Durr
Aankhon Mein Neend Na Mann Mein Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Dekho Hum Tum Dono Hai Ek Daali Ke Phool
Mein Na Bhoola Tu Kaise Mujhko Gayi Bhool
Dekho Hum Tum Dono Hai Ek Daali Ke Phool
Mein Na Bhoola Tu Kaise Mujhko Gayi Bhool
Aa Meri Paas Aa Kehdo Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai

Jeevan Ke dukhon Se yun Darte Nahi Hai
Aise Bachke Sach Se Guzarte Nahi Hai
Jeevan Ke dukhon Se yun Darte Nahi Hai
Aise Bachke Sach Se Guzarte Nahi Hai
Sukh Hi Chaah To Dukh Bhi Sehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
Saari Umar Hamein Sangg Rehna Hai

Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
la la la la...
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hai
oh la la la la..

Suprabatham - In English

2007-03-21T13:40:00.000+05:30

Sri Rama! Kausalya's endearing son! Wake up, dear! You have to do your day-to-day duties do wake up please.

O Govinda, wake up! O Garudadhvaja! Wake up. O Kamalakanta (i.e., the husband of Kamala)! All the three worlds are under your rule, they have to prosper, Wake up, my child.

May it be an auspicious dawn (morning) to Thee, O Lakshmi, the Mother of the Worlds, the ever dweller on the chest of Vishnu ( i.e., the enemy of the demons, madhu and Kaitabha), of attractive and divine form, the Mistress and of the nature of granting the desired objects of those seeking refuge!

May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee, O Lakshmi of the eyes like the lotus, of a bright face like the Moon, worshipped by the wives of Brahma, Shankara and Indra and a treasure of compassion. You have an endearing attachment to your devotees.

Having worshipped the morning twilight (i.e., having said the morning prayer, namely, the sandhyavandana) the seven sages like Arti, bringing the beautiful lotuses from the Divine Ganges, have arrived to worship Thy feet. Lord of Seshachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee!

Aran, Aryan, Shanmuga and Devas are all-anxious to adore you. The daily Panchangam is to be read and approved by you. Get up, O Srinivasa!

The breeze, carrying the wonderful fragrance of the partly opened lotuses and the beautiful ears of the trees like the Areca and Coconut, is gently blowing. Lord of Seshachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee.

The parrots, kept for pleasure in the foremost cages, opening their eyes, are graciously singing, after eating the remains of the plantain fruits and the payasam in the vessels. Lord Seshachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee!

Thumburu Narada is speeding up to you. His Veena is set to sing your glory. Do hear these melodious songs of Narada.

Lotus hidden bees, having come out in the open with the opening of the petals, are singing solemn hymns. Oh Srinivasa! You are omnipotent.

Ayarpadi, ladies are singing their sweet melodies as they are churning butter. They announce the day-dawn. Get up, oh Govinda! Bless these endearing Gopis.

The humming black bees seem to sing that they are far more attractive than the black 'Kuvali' flowers from which they draw honey. All the three of you namely, bees, flowers and Your Holy Self form a holy Trinity in color and splendor.

You have changed your abode from Heaven to Venkatam to give boons to your devotees. Do hurry up! Venkatesha, bless them.

Aryan, Aran and Celestials, after taking bath in Swami Pushkarini, are awaiting Your Grace to receive blessings

Lord of Venkatachala! Thy abode is always called by several names, as Sri Seshasaila, Garudachala, Venkatadri, Narayanadri, Vrsabhadri, Vrsadri. May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee!

Siva, Indra, Agni, Yama, Nairuti, Varuna, Vayu and Kubera, with folded hands on their heads, are desirous of offering service to Thee. Lord of Venkatachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee!

Garuda, lion, Anata, Gaja, Ashwa, all these five are awaiting Your Command to improve their way of doing things to serve you better and more effectively.

The main (deities) of the Assembly of Gods - the nine planets (Sun, Moon, Mars (Angarakha), Mercury (Buddha), Jupiter (Bruhaspati), Venus (Shukra), Saturn (Shani), Rahu and Ketu) remain happy to be the servants of the last grade servants of the servants of Thy servants ( i.e. They remain most obedient to Thee).

Surya and the rest of the Navagrahas are steadfast in their dutiful obeisance to your devotees. They await Your Command to serve you through your devotees.

Srinivasa! Mankind desires to be with you forever and forever in Venkatam and to serve you life-long.

Lord of Sridevi and Bhudevi! The ocean of nectar of compassion and other virtues! The chief of Gods! The sole refuge of the Universe! The possessor of Sri ( i.e., wealth)! One whose feet are worshipped by Ananta and Garuda!

Bakthas are chanting your names as Vasudeva, Madhava, Govinda, Janardhana, Chakrapani and other endearing names. Devotees are ever ready to obey Your Command.

Your beauty enchants Sri Lakshmi. She would not leave her Lord. For the sake of Bakthas get up please and afford them Dharshan.

Thy descent from Paramapada was heralded in Thy numerous avatars when you did immense good to your devotees. Great God, do come to us to help us in our distress.

The Brahmins, well versed in the Vedas, are now joyfully waiting (for worshipping you), carrying the golden pots filled with the water of the Divine Ganges (AkashGanga) which (waters) are rendered fragrant by (mixing of) the cardamoms, cloves and camphor. Lord of Venkatachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee!

The twittering of birds on all sides proclaims the dawn of the day. Devotees are gathered in numbers and they sing their vociferous adoration to you.

The Chief of Gods like Brahma, the great sages and the good Yogins as Sanandana are (waiting) at Thy abode, holding auspicious things in their hands. Lord of Venkatachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee.

Abode of Lakshmi! Ocean of faultless (and auspicious) virtues! Bridge to cross the ocean of transmigration (samsara)! One whose glory is known through the Upanishads! One enjoyed by the devotees! Lord of Venkatachala! May it be an auspicious dawn to Thee.

Castles

2007-03-16T13:22:00.000+05:30

Henry David Thoreau says,

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. "

This is what most of us fail to do. We fail on two counts. One neither is the castle a perfect enough to project our real dream/Vision nor do we ever put efforts enough to start laying foundations for that castle.

Building a castle has to be done by an architect cum an engineer. Not in literal terms. As an architect, I know, the technicalities of what exactly is my perception. As an engineer, I know, what it takes to convert that perception into a reality.

The far more important point is that, I, as a person, should know that that dream castle of mine is still far ahead of mine. I should start building my foundations (of the right proportion, at the right way with a correct timing) so that reaching my castle is made possible. But the journey does not end there.

Life is still a journey. The castle is not my destination. It is only a location. From there, I have the real building to start. Only thing, with my foundations, it is a superficial construction for me. But there too if I am not careful, lapses would make the castle ugly and unfit to live in or live with. I need time for building, curing time, make finishing touches.

My castle can be accommodative. Not too flimsy.

"Miles to go before I sleep".. .. I might have built my castle in the air. Ever since I am working like a insomniac to make a walkable path towards that. Am I having the right roadmap yet. That's something that my Sixth sense should tell me.

Spiritual Quotient - a nice article

2007-03-13T12:12:00.000+05:30

From IQ to EQ, we have travelled this far. The new Buzzword most of the organisation is speaking about now is SQ- Spiritual Quotient.

Lets see what SQ is all about:

In today's fast-changing world, materialism and stress have become part of our everyday lives.

We are constantly looking for answers: How to live a successful and happy life? One way of finding out answers to this question could be to explore the Spiritual Quotient (SQ), relating to our ability to understand and comprehend the spiritual aspects of life, which, contrary to popular belief, are not necessarily connected to religion.

Most of us are familiar with the concept of the Intelligence Quotient (IQ). In the mid ‘90s, Daniel Goleman started talking about EQ or Emotional Quotient.

Danah Zoher and Ian Marshal in their recent work SQ: Connecting with our Spiritual Intelligence observe that "While computers have IQ and animals can have EQ, it is essentially an SQ that sets human beings apart". Therefore, for the ‘Wheel of Life' to roll smoothly, all the spokes of the wheel - IQ, EQ and SQ - have to be equally developed. The journey from IQ to SQ represents moving from gross to subtle, finite to infinite and from tangible to intangible.

SQ has several dimensions: Compassion, wholeness, self-esteem, gratitude, spirit of surrender and service and the ego. Handling the ego is one of the critical dimensions of enhancing SQ. Ego issues, if not handled with care, can create problems in our personal, social and professional lives. Hence for better relationships, it is very important to understand and handle the ego - both of ‘self' and others.

Ego stems from our bundle of memories. It gets further reinforced when we repeatedly embrace a particular thought for extended periods of time. We tend to take ‘ego positions' based on what happened to us in the past.

One of the key aspects of handling the ego is to analyse the way in which our thoughts are organised because our ego is embedded deep into our thought process.

Our thoughts are often organised in a hierarchical order. First of all there is a primary layer of thought which constitutes the core, then there is a second layer, a third layer, and so on. The primary layer represents objectivity of thoughts and maturity whereas the subsequent layers represent subjective interpretations often arising out of perceptions which may be far away from reality.

Shri Ramana Maharishi advised that one should contemplate primarily on the inner core rather than on the secondary and tertiary layer; for once we concentrate on the core thoughts, we will naturally look at the events of life more objectively. Once we are objective and deal with issues with all gentleness, care and with a satvik approach, all our transactions become free from the ego.

J Krishnamurthy calls this state of mind as one of "All Conclusive Awareness". Staying in this state softens our ego. To handle the ego, one has to therefore promote objectivity, for, with objectivity comes truth. This in turn dilutes the ego. Once our actions originate from the depth of our heart representing the primary layer, the path for ego-free relationships will be paved.

Dealing with the ego becomes easier if we can instil a spirit of ‘surrender' in our psyche. The environment around you becomes tranquil and peaceful. Surrendering essentially means crucifixion of our ego, but surrendering becomes a rather difficult and painful process because of our worldly attachments.

Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita (chapter 1 says: ‘ ‘Fly unto Him for refuge with all your being, O Bharata; by his grace you shall obtain supreme peace and eternal abode". Krishna advises Arjuna to surrender his ego unto Him.

Commenting on this, Swami Chinmayananda says that "The surrender unto the Lord should not be a temporary self deception; it should be done with a total spirit of devotion and with a state of ego-lessness."

This was the spirit exhibited by Radha, Prahlada and Hanuman. The surrendering of ego is often construed as a weakness. On the contrary, the spirit of surrender enhances our quality of goodness which ultimately leads to godliness.

But where is God? Vedanta says He resides within us. By surrendering the ego we will be able to perpetually experience Spiritual Actualisation, leading to a higher SQ.

For, "We are not human beings having spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having human experience".

Failure quotient

2007-03-13T12:01:00.000+05:30

Your Failure Quotient by Dr Michael Norwood - A very nice article.

The president of my college gave the best speech any luminary ever could have at my graduation. Addressing the hundreds of students, he said that now that we were graduating, our success in life no longer depended on our I.Q., but rather on our F.Q. - our Failure Quotient; how many times we could be knocked down but keep getting back up and slowly moving forward.

I don't know if any of my fellow graduates remembered those words, but I never forgot them. I have seen over and over again in my life and in the lives of others how a high F.Q. is the key to success - the one factor that all people of accomplishment have in common.

Having a high Failure Quotient is a paradox; we aren't accustomed to equating failure with success. When we think of super-winners or super-successful people - whether they be superstar athletes like Michael Jordan, renowned politicians like Rudy Giuliani, or famed entrepreneurs like Ross Perot or Walt Disney - we usually think of them in the lap of luxury, at the top of the world, and at the height of ease and power.

Yet Michael Jordan is known as the greatest basketball player of all time for one thing: his ability to "turn on" in the fourth quarter; not the first, second or third quarter, mind you. But in the fourth quarter, when his team is often down, when things are most crucial, and when lesser players in sports - and more passive people in life - are ready to throw in the towel.

Everyone knows Rudy Giuliani as one the heroes of September 11th, the man who mobilized his city, and lifted our country and the world up out of the grip of fear surrounding one of the most traumatic events in history. Few people remember that just a short time before September 11, 2001, Rudy Giuliani's future had been discounted. He had to withdraw from the New York Senate race because of a diagnosis of prostate cancer. This was followed by a very public and messy divorce splashed across every newspaper column in the country and jibed at by every radio and T.V. talk show host on air.

Now ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 100, at what level is Rudy Giuliani's Failure Quotient? How about Michael Jordan's? And most importantly, how about yours?

When we get a rejection or have a setback, it s very hard not to feel at least momentarily thrown off course. Yet I believe that a major benefit people receive who have gone through difficult life challenges is that no matter what other daily challenge they face, they can measure it against the larger life adversity they ve overcome, and put it into its proper perspective. Whether you ve been through a serious illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, or have been a victim of violence, the rest of your life you can benefit by using that experience to weigh everything else you face against it.

Here s a simple exercise that will make moving forward toward your goals and getting past obstacles, rejections, setbacks, and disappointments exactly one hundred times easier.

1) Before you start out on any project, whether it be seeking a customer if you re in sales, seeking a publisher if you re a writer, or seeking a mate if you re single, take a blank piece of lined paper and number each line 1 through 100. Make 2 columns if you need to as well as using both sides of the sheet.

2) Got it done? Now make multiple photocopies of this form for future use. (It s a long life. . .)

3) Now set out to do your goal or task.

When you receive your first obstacle, rejection, disappointment or setback, put a checkmark next to number 1. When you hit your second obstacle, put a checkmark next to space number 2. The third, a checkmark on space number 3, and so on.

Now, here s the most important part:

When you start your project or goal, expect it may take 100 attempts to accomplish it! No, this is not a negative mindset. It simply acknowledges that you may need to try a number of approaches before you get something to work, or someone to accept you or your offer. Acknowledging beforehand that you re ready to put your all into at least 100 tries gives you the mindset of unstoppability.

I was counseling a lady on the phone recently who was going through a very complex legal struggle with an abusive ex- husband. She had gone to a number of attorneys, all of whom had told her she didn t have a case. I knew her situation and what kind of person she was. I also knew there were attorneys out there who would be willing and capable of helping this kind-hearted person, even if they would be hard to find. She was feeling frustrated and defeated, so I told her to make out such a 1-100 list. I also told her that I would feel sorry for her only after she got to number 100 without finding an appropriate attorney.

Guess what? By the time she had gotten to number 3, she found the perfect one! A "compassionate bulldog" who immediately lifted 95 percent of the stress off her shoulders of handling her incorrigible ex-husband.

What would her life been like had she not made that list?

How many candles would we be burning a day to light our homes if Thomas Edison had stopped at failed experiment number 10,000, 20,000 or 30,000 instead of going on to do the 50,000 it required to invent the light bulb?

Don t hesitate. Make your photocopied 1-100 lists now. If you don t accomplish a specific goal by attempt number 100, give me a call. I ll honestly tell you how sorry I feel for you.

Dr. Michael Norwood is the author of "The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul," which has been featured in places such as The Wall Street Journal and The Atlanta Constitution.

Transition - A Hawk to a man.

2007-03-05T18:48:00.000+05:30

This is about my friend Sreejith. I call him Lord Byron. A nice friend that God gifted me way back during my school days. A Poet by heart. That's the way I wish to remember him.
To read his poems, I usually have to use either Oxford dictionary or Roger's Thesaurus to translate that into working English and then try to understand it. He as a poet dates back to William Wordsworth period. It takes some time. But then, I spend time usefully at least.
Reading his poems makes me feel as though I am floating back to the ages of our school days. 12 C.

We did have a great period those days. Days filled with fun.
The name of Sreejith will always bring back - Our game of "Find the song from the humming". Sreejith's fight with Deepthi Raghavan because she teased Dhanya (his younger sister) - That incident made me realise the value of having a brother. His first crush - Krithika. Sri Hari Prashanth's first crush and first display of fear, when that girl's brother was about to thrash this guy. Santosh, Vivek, PS, Shyam, Sindhu and Vishnu always having a word war. Vivek's english essay about Lady or the Tiger where he spelled Tiger as "TIGRE" and our teacher Shobha madam handing him an imposition of writing the correct spelling. Rakesh, the Wise guy from 12 E. Rajapandian Master's "Hey YOU". Our Rule Kumar - Selvakumar. Sreejith's first major loss in life (his father) and how he took up the reigns to manage things at home, how he put efforts to ensure his mother gets the job and how we were all so proud about him (though we never let him know about it - verbally).

Even now as we get together in some marriage, its like old times again.

Coming back to Sreejith,
He might write a thousand and one poems. But my all time favourite would be his poem on a rose.
I don't remember those words again. But I remember feeling the emotions he had portrayed through his words.

He was like a wild hawk. Flying high in the air. The elegance with which he conducts himself, that is very typical to sreejith only and no other.

Now, he is getting engaged to his sweetheart - Sowmya. After a lot of background work, he has finally managed to convince the elders at home.

Today, I expressed my wish to hear Sowmya's voice.
I wrote to him "Convey my wishes to Sowmya too. Does she know me? Sometime when you guys are together, do get her over the phone so that I can get to hear her voice (a sweet voice that was successful enough to captivate a poet's heart)."

The typical romeo wrote back, attaching her photo also,
"How did you guess she has a sweet voice? She does. ."

I really felt, "Do I look that stupid?" It does not take a James Bond to detect this basic fact right?
She was indeed very beautiful. No wonder, Lord Byron fell hook-line & sinker.

I commented, "I felt - a hawk fell for a butterfly".

Our Byron wrote,

Dark was the life, the world, for this irresolute,ere,
Capricious, nochalant, innocent ,ambivalence on air,
Yet not languid were my dreams, fanatic, obsessive, all ostentatious
Unruly desires, repressive approach deemed my success, just evanescent,
When then came an angel, to whom I impugned with all my venomous oblivion,
And all were replied with love, a truth, then from hawk I became a man.

I just remembered some saying "Good Lord! When the Mighty fall, and How"

Freeze Moments

2007-03-05T18:26:00.000+05:30

I intend to update these freeze moments more often now.

If I had a remote control to freeze moments of life and live it to eternity - That's what I call "Freeze Moments". I have had many such in the past. But due to lack of records, I have lost track of them. I no longer intend to do so henceforth. Perhaps these will bring back nostalgic memories back to me years down the lane.

On 4th March 2005, We all went to Mahabalipuram and from there to a movie "Mozhi" in mayajaal theatre.
Travelling in the car, with the men folk occupying the front seats and women at the back, the air from the open beaches in the ECR road was blowing fresh air in my mind. Though I was down with work pressure, I felt much better going in the air. I was thinking, one of the days, I must travel on that road in a bike or some two wheeler leaving my hair free and trying to hug the air with both my arms. (No Titanic effects - Just the feel of free fresh air through out my body and mind).

We were careful enough to book the tickets first before proceeding further to Mahabalipuram. Mom wanted Popcorn. I bought some sweet corn also. Nice and spicy it was.

In Mahabalipuram, we just visited the rock temple in the beach. Nowhere else. It was difficult for mom to walk. She needed assistance getting down the car and walking. That did not spoil our fun.
I enjoyed walking down the garden, observing the species of plants and noting down the ones which I don't have in my own garden back home.

I did want to go and enjoy myselfrf in the lawn where sprinklers were on, but dogs were on gaurd.

I bought some ear-rings for Rs. 5 per piece and vada (2 per person that was the count but I got 3 that's a hidden fact).

Then it was a drive back to the movies. During the movie, mom was distributing all the snacks to all of us. We were laughing our wits out. During interval, we discussed the comedy scenes.

After the movie was over, mom had to get up. All of us helped her to get up from the seat.

CLICK! That was a freeze moment for me.

For a loner and a hostelite, being with family, laughing and eating, being with family is a
Freeze moment.

Then after we went to a hotel to have dinner. All that was quite the usual. But all of us pitching to pick up mom - was like "We all care and love you equally - Mom".

Mozhi - A language of Silence

2007-03-05T13:11:00.000+05:30

I saw the movie "Mozhi". It was a nice one. A story about 2 set of friends. The hero is a musician who falls in love with a dumb and deaf girl. His reaction on realizing she was dumb and deaf - Silence has its own serenity to be enjoyed.
There were quiet a number of enjoyable comedy scenes. Nothing vulgar or mushy. The movie was quiet decent.
There has been a stiff competition amongst the characters to excel themselves in showing their acting skills. I don't know how to say. I am not sure if the heroine excelled because it was her eyes which spoke every single dialogue to the audience or the hero because he really seemed to live his character.
The hero, made his impression in my heart. Compassionate. Even to the girl showing off her love, he is kind enough not to hurt her. To the man who has refused to accept the loss of his only son, he is understanding.
At a point when he is depressed, this father-figure comes to him talking about his son's accident as though it just happened. At that moment, the hero realises, its time to make the father accept his loss. He makes the father cry and offers to him "Accept me as your long lost son". Even when he buys that man a pair of slippers, the director makes us see his excellence - the father is shown to be boasting off the slippers that the hero bought for him.

There is this heroine's gaurdian - anti-bachelor. He excels in comedy, in playing a possessive husband and a self styled perfectionist in complying with "rules". Well it was uncalled for when there was a comment if all Chartered accountants were like him. But nevertheless, we have to take every humour on us with a pinch of salt. He too at a point realises the worth of the hero. He says "I am sorry, I misunderstood you. Give her some time. She will understand you too". He accepts the fact that if for the so called "Normal" people, communication is not always fully effective through words alone, it takes some more time for the Special people to get to understand the language of the others and more than anything else to trust even their own understanding.

But there were some scenes which impressed me too much.

When the heroine asks him, what is his expectations of an ideal life partner, he replies "Being educated, brave and having a good heart". When she asks about beauty, he says "When a person has all these, she's gotta be beautiful". When she asks about the life partner's understanding towards music, he replies "if she is able to understand me and sense me in her, music will come automatically to her". He is very much interested in the Heroine and knows fully well, she will never be able to hear his music or reciprocate his feelings about music and her. Yet, he feels it within him that the moment she is able to feel his feelings within her or his music (either of them) there is always a chance for him to claim her love and share his life with her.

At one point when he makes her feel music, her eyes flow in the very rhythm of the music beats, that point, the eyes of the heroine were really expressive. The Hero realises that she has sensed what music is, he knows he will be in a position to make her sense his real feelings for her. And proposes to her. That realization, that emotions by the hero on his face, were too good. He says "You were able to sense the language of the wind. Now you are able to understand the language of the music. You will definetly understand me and my way of communicating. Are you able to sense my love for you." She does. She is able to sense that. But her fear takes over. The director was too good to show how her fear takes over by showing her clenched fists. She has practiced art of self defence. To tackle her fear with force, with anger.

Later, when they decide to part, at one juncture the other two pair, pair up.
Sometimes it is better to let go, your love. It is a torture. Believe me. I know it. Holding on to time immemorial is only going to cause more pain. Not only to you. But to the other too. And also to the entire beauty of the relationship that you both share. But if the love is strong enough, there is always an invisible power to bring it back. Time. The only thing that we don't have. Yet an important ingredient.

This is just what the hero does at one point. He lets her go. He knows, there has to be a space in the togetherness. Else things are too suffocating sometimes.
The heroine realises that facing the hero is too much for her to bear. She refuses to attend even her best friends' wedding because the hero will be there.
She has disclosed to her friend her fear of marriage was not because she does not like the hero, but of the fact that there is always a chance of her child also being dumb and deaf because of the genetic disorder in her and her family history.

The hero on hearing that she is not going to attend the wedding because of her, confronts her. He says "Why do you make me feel like a crook?"
He says "To the very extent that I love my music, I loved your silence too".
He says "You are scared of yourself. You lie to your own heart. You are scared of marriage because you think every man will be like your father and abandon you and your child if the child is born deaf and dumb. I will never abandon my child" (He is confident that if the heroine has a child, that child will be his. He knows nobody else will be there in her life and she couldn't trust anybody else more than him. Only her fears are obstructive).

They say it is difficult to understand a woman. This is a mute woman. Even if a woman expresses her feelings, men need guides like "men are from mars and women from venus" to tell them what she means. Here is a guy who was able to look beyond, learn her language - the language of silence, the language of signs, learn about her feelings, learn about her thoughts, learn of her fears. He is patient, forgiving and non-egoistic. He is ready to wait. He is giving. He gives into her voluntary wishes. He is not sorry to say sorry when he realises his mistake.

He looks into her eyes, which are stunned at his confrontation - she is able to sense his anger, to her surprise - realise what he is trying to tell her. Being the first time in her life, she is too stunned to react. He says "your eyes tell me everything. They tell me about the urge in you to live. Why don't you try? You will not lose." Is he trying to tell her - I will never allow you to lose or I will never lose you.
Just as I said, the hero wants her to let go. Let go of her fears. Only then she will be able to realise that beyond fear, defense and anger and self restriction, there is something more beautiful too. Something called risking. Love is worth risking everything in life. Isn't it?

"Vazhdhu paar, thorka maataai.
Yennai yettru paar, kai vida maatein"

You wish to live.
Experiment with it.
You won't lose.

You know you love me.
Accept it.
You won't regret it.

(Hey these poetic lines were not part of the movie. Those are my lines. They just came by when I was going through those scenes in my mind).

The heroine, when she lets go. All her pain, which she has hidden in her comes out. It comes out as a big scream from within her. Her grandma who is able to hear it - for the first time, smiles. She knows that her granddaughter has finally come into terms with her fears and her insecurity.

Too good. I guess, we all just experiment with life. Many a times, the most difficult part is to let go. Its not easy. Believe me. Letting go is not just for a man or a woman in a love relationship. Its difficult for a mother, a sister, a brother, a father, a son, a daughter, a friend. Its not about being obsessed or being possesive. Its about just letting go. At that moment, you know - you are in hell. Sufferring the punishment of being attached.

Rest all apart, truly gifted is that woman, to whom a man could give this level of assurance - atleast once in her life. "I will never let you lose". A woman has a constant battle with her own feelings and fears. How can a man, who loves her the most, let her lose?

To hell with feminism. Its in a man's heart that a woman is safe.

When Silence Kills

2007-02-28T17:44:00.002+05:30

I see it every day

Every way in which you change

I try to keep the cold out

I only know that you are now Sold out

So when silence kills

You know it can and it will

For the ones I look upon

When I'm dead and gone

When you are back

It would have been too long

Only then will you learn the truth

About the life you cared least at youth

So when silence kills
You know it can and it will

Have your fill,

By then my heart would be still.

St. Valentine

2007-02-16T11:54:00.000+05:30

There is this much hyped Valentine's day that comes on every 14th day of February.

Although, many might say that it is a marketing strategy or westernised culture seeping into India or what ever.

The days before Valentines day are indeed magical. Call it the age acting or because of the media hype.

I used to hear a lot of love songs floating in almost all Radio channels (Can't afford a TV in a hostel life). And of course mails relating to Valentines day celebrations. The internet was also filled with Valentines day specialities. What to gift, What to dress, How to express, How to "prepare", Valentines day superstitions etc etc. Some came up with some sensible valentines day gift suggestions also.

I was surprised to know that India had a 1200 crore valentines day business going on. I was totally stumped that guys in Punjab actually spend 60k to have a 15 minutes ride on Helicopters to propose to their valentine is a romantic way. (That was quite way off I believe).

Finally, the day did arrive for me. Asusual Bhaiyya lied about his way of celebrating Valentine. He still claims he never could actually get a rose for his wife.

Mannoj, who is now in Bangalore wrote to me about his plans for Valentines day saying "Well, am thinking to get some chocolates & Red Rose bouquets for Suman. Inspired by your previous mail am planning to get an Insurance cover/MF investment/FD for Suman. " I am not sure if he did actually executed that.

Meenu on my way back from office surprised me by introducing her husband whom I teasingly call "Bhava" (just to see meenu fume). Her way of celebrating Valentines day was going to the beach and having Idli at Murugan Idli shop. Her husband's gift to her was sparing her from cooking that night's dinner. Hmmm. When Love is in the air, I guess everyone has their own sense of romance.

Well, as far as my valentine is concerned. I am my own valentine. I went to purchase some dresses for my family.

Some guy did send me a nice Valentine card.
http://www.touchninspire.com/romantic/everything.html

But (un)fortunately he wasn't known to me. Somebody from orkut.
And I faithfully forwarded that card to my friends who could make better use of somebody else's creativity.

So that's that about Valentines day for the year 2007. Atleast during 2006 the HR stuck some stickers on all systems saying thanks for loving your work so much (A typical example for a HR's sense of humour). Since many had protested that "It spoils the office' decor" - this year there was nothing.

Some were still cribbing that it was Much Ado about nothing. Well, any opportunity to keep you happy is still special. So why not if it is from the west or east.

A nice poem about me...

2007-02-12T17:00:00.000+05:30

Preethika, a nice friend of mine, wrote a poem (impromptu) about me...

I know a girl who loves to talk,

And talk she does with such a style

That she leaves a lasting impression

on anyone who's known her even just for a while..

~#~

I know a girl with the kindest heart

who cares for you like her own self

She knows what her friends like the most

and fulfills their wishes like a magical elf..

~#~

There is a lot to say about this girl

Who goes around in her moped all day

She is the best companion one can have

At work as well as in times of play..

~#~

She's like the banyan tree which will never fall

even if the toughest of winds pulls at her roots

She will overcome tough times by being herself

and later get to enjoy all of life's sweet fruits..

Morning Posts to make me cheerful

2007-02-08T12:26:00.000+05:30

Dream...

And as you dream,Remember...

That only you can make

Your dreams come true.

Reach...

And as you reach,Remember that...

Success takes

time, Devotion,

And sometimes a little

Disappointment.

Believe...

And as you believe,

You will find

Reaching gets easier,

Setbacks get More manageable,

Life becomes More meaningful.

Dare to dream

2007-02-06T14:13:00.000+05:30

To dare to dream

that for every question there's an answer...

for every answer yet another question...

and that in the asking there is renewed adventure...

in that daring and dreaming

is a symphony of ambition.

To dare to dream

that my thinking and understandingmight be heard

and find its wayinto the shape of the future --

in that daring and dreaming

is my energy for today.

To dare to dream

that my skills

might affect the destinyof other people --

in that daring and dreaming

is my hope for tomorrow.

To dare to dream

that the yearnings of my soul

have a purpose which

only I can find --

in that daring and dreaming

is the road to discovery.

To dare to dream

that the spirit of school

might continue in me --

tempered with time, but relevant --

in that daring and dreaming

is a yet greater symphony.

Steps To Happiness

2007-02-06T14:06:00.000+05:30

Everybody Knows:

You can't be all things to all people.

You can't do all things at once.

You can't do all things equally well.

You can't do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.

You have to decide what comes first, and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:

That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

Life is..

2007-02-06T14:02:00.000+05:30

Life is a challenge - meet it.

Life is a gift - accept it.

Life is an adventure - dare it.

Life is a sorrow - overcome it.

Life is a tragedy - face it.

Life is a duty - perform it.

Life is a game - play it.

Life is a mystery - unfold it.

Life is a song - sing it.

Life is an opportunity - take it.

Life is a journey - complete it.

Life is a promise - fulfill it.

Life is a beauty - praise it.

Life is a struggle - fight it.

Life is a goal - achieve it.

Life is a puzzle - solve it.

Life is eternal - believe it.

Mysterious God

2007-02-05T15:17:00.000+05:30

I asked for Strength,
God gave me difficulties to face.
I asked for Wisdom,
God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for Courage,
God gave me danger to overcome.
I asked for Love,
God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for Favours,
God gave me opportunities.

I asked for prosperity,

God gave me brawn and brain to work

I asked for trust,

God gave me conscienceless backstabbers to deal with,

I asked for faith in myself,

God gave me the lowest phases of my life to overcome,

I asked for humility,

God gave me showers of praise to accept with a level head,

I asked for best friends,

God gave me just myself to talk to,

I asked for security,

God gave me the biggest insecurities to harden to,

I asked for compassion,

God gave me inhuman jerks to forgive,

I asked for knowledge,

God gave me profound souls to learn from,

I asked for liberation,

God gave me a wonderful life to live n make a difference!

I never got what I wanted. They say I got every thing I needed.

Question is:
IS God deaf or is He being Cynical?

Everytime I try to raise myself, He sends me back with a heavy blow. Like a ping pong ball.
Everytime I try to bounce back, I do emerge wiser and stronger but more and more cynical.

I keep losing my sense of humour. I have lost all those things which I valued the most in my life. My philosophy in life, my dreams, my confidence. And they say, God has crude ways of teaching reality. At what cost?

Its been amazing to watch how friends and family towards which I had a strong bondage towards, withered away from me (either gradually or abruptly). I have the feeling that I will never have that "friend" any more. Now I am in that position that can be clearly described as: Alone.

There is a cynical yet clear view of the illusions of this conceptual world. I am able to see the ideas and dishonesties that people use to structure their so-called relationships.

Yet my heart does not accept this state and keeps fighting. It yearns for companionship. Foolishness yet the current state of affairs.

When there seems no hope of surviving the slings and arrows that come one after the other without stopping. You think everything is going to be alright and then another hit comes and another and another?
When I try to bounce back with Faith, prayers and everything in hand, nothing seems to go right again. I only console my heart to bear the pain inflicted by another arrow and make space for another arrow to land up. Sometimes they land right were the old wounds aren't completely closed.
Thats when I also think, Forget God. Perhaps He has other fishes to fry.

Some say, you aren't the only one who is suffering. Well, Thank you very much. Still the wound hurts. I am not here for comparing whose wound hurts more. I am not saying that I am the only sufferer and every other person is rejoicing. I am just saying - IT HURTS. HURTS ARE PAINFUL.

Value of a smile

2007-01-30T18:14:00.000+05:30

I read a nice poem (not sure if it has a poetic grammer either) on "Value of smile". Unfortunately I don't have a good memory to remember the words for a long time. So I just put it down so that it can exist for perpetuity.

It costs nothing to create
much

It enriches those who receive
without impoverishing those who give

It happens in a flash and the
memory of it sometimes last for ever

It cannot be begged, borrowed
or stolen, but is of no earthly good to anyone until it’s given away

So if in your hurry you run
across someone too weary to smile, leave one of yours

No one needs a smile as much as
the one who has none to give

Becoming a champion - tips from my own life.

2007-01-29T19:39:00.000+05:30

I used to wonder how come I have transformed myself from a free butterfly to a self cocooned worm. Is it the reverse growth cycle? Well whatever is it, things have to change. Change for good.

I was wondering how come I used to be a winner always as a child. My thought process led me to think about my nature also.
1. I was willing to learn. Learn everything about this world. I was forever curious. I used to question a lot. If I did not get answers, I had my own logics.
2. I was active. More like Hyperactive. I did not have a single idle moment. Forever I was upto something or the other. NO fear of the future. No past to bother me about.
3. I was a good risk taker. I was never afraid of failure. But I used to give my 100% to whatever I did. Never took anybody for granted except myself. I was independent in whatever I did. I faced the consequences as well.
4. I took things in my stride. I could adapt myself so very well. No change could bother me because everytime there was a change I changed myself. Never was there something constant about me except change.
5. I was innovative even in my mischiefs. Not a single one was repeated. I guess I learnt from my mistakes and made new and newer mischiefs.

Surprisingly I arrived at the following tips to become a winner or rather a champion in what I do.
1. Be willing to learn
2. Be willing to act
3. Don't be afraid of the fall.
4. Adapt yourself where ever you are.
5. Be creative in whatever you do.

Thats a pretty good one. Let me see if I can put these into practice as well.

Original Thoughts

2007-01-29T18:16:00.000+05:30

I read this about Original thoughts. Seemed to have echoed my own "original thoughts". Anyways, it was nice to read. I added my own views to it and have presented it down here.

Original Thoughts

Have you ever had a thought and believed it to be an 'original'? This is not necessarily true. While it may be a light bulb moment for you it is nothing new. It is merely your understanding of the concept that is new to you.
Far from being depressing to think that there is nothing new under the sun, I find it comforting to know that these questions and concepts have been around for as long as human kind has been aware of Self. The words may change but the basic idea is the original theme.

Every glass of water, every breath you take holds the same energy as someone you admire from history. Perhaps it even is the very same molecules that person inhaled or drank!
Thought patterns work this way too. Thought is simply energy; and we know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it simply 'is'. Some people have labeled this energy as the mass consciousness or group mind.
Each person on earth has thoughts and these thoughts are infused with some form of emotional energy. So, in turn, these thoughts and emotions go into the ethers as a thought and energy infused packet, which we feel or 'tune in' to.
How do we streamline these so called "Original thoughts" to make them more productive.

Recognize: It is when we become aware of the fact .
Monitor: Monitor your thoughts. Keep your inner eye upon your thoughts.
Feel: Feel the emotions that coincide with these thoughts.
Acknowledge: Acknowledge that the situation is put before you by your Soul for your growth and understanding.
Affirm: When we affirm something we are placing it in a positive light to teach us and further our understanding and growth.
Be precise: Rather than being ambiguous we need to be precise in what we exactly want.

What is the point behind the whole exercise?

Let me put it in this way:

Change your Thoughts - Change your Outlook;

Change your Outlook - Change your World.

Flying High

2007-01-25T20:00:00.000+05:30

On Sunday, I was at the Besant Nagar Beach.
I seem to have a magnetic attraction towards water. I was standing there in water when Bhabhi came and stood beside me. Somehow, I felt like playing with her. Slowly I drifted deeper in to the water. After a big wave came, I gave my best football shot. Almost 90% of the waters which flew against gravity landed on her. She was actually caught unawares. Then she made the world her spitoon.."Pthew.." "pthew.." she went about trying to eliminate the saltiness that few droplets had left in her mouth. She was bent on a revenge for making her taste salt. I ran away. Few men just entered the water and her shyness made her reserve the revenge for another day.

We had groundnuts, sugar candy.
My legs were too wet to be seated in the sand.
I tried my luck in shooting down balloons. Not bad. I did not miss a single one.
Every time bhaiyya and bhabhi were trying their hand, I stood behind them reciting a mantra and everytime they struck the balloon, I'd say.."My prayers were answered."

On the way back I saw kids flying kites. I never remember to have played with kites as a kid. The child in me urged me...it was like throwing a tantrum within me "I want a kite! I want a kite!". So I mustered my courage and asked bhaiyya to get me (conveniently I forgot my purse). Well he did get me a kite, but I wasn't sure how to make it fly. The puzzled look on my face made him laugh.

He asked me "Betu, have you never flown a kite?" I gave him a blank look. Then he started to demonstrate. I was so impatient to get my hands on the "deal". I kept saying "ok ok..let me..let me". Then I got bored. To make it float and sway, I was physically twisting myself and running around. Must have looked comical. Meanwhile bhaiyya and bhabhi were discussing the technical facts about how a kite is made and what all ingredients go into making the "Manjaa" for the "deal". I was like 'Who cares so long as this thing flies?'.
Then I observed some kites were flying higher than mine. I started jumping to make the kite go higher. That made bhaiyya laugh all the more. He told me that the secret behind making the kite go higher was to let more string go free.

Finally, I started getting the hang of that thing. Finally after all the "Vasana" was exhausted, we were packing up when a small flower selling boy came and asked if he could have the kite. I don't know if he will play or later make a profit of the same by selling it off, but I looked at bhaiyya and bhaiyya gave him that kite.

Coming to think about the kite, our life seems to be more or less like that only. To make the kite fly, initially it has to be controlled. After it reaches a decent height, to make it go higher and higher we have to give it more string and use lesser control. Our life is also more or less like where our parents control us, guiding us, pulling the string whereever necessary to give us the directions. After a certain point, we gain more freedom. The more we feel free we reach further heights. When the time comes, our parents again pull the string or rather make us sway to wards another direction towards which the wind blows. The string is not too hastle free either. There are number of knots, twists and turns in there. Somebody has to undo them and then let the strings go. Likewise, our life will also have to face a lot of twists and turns in life. Only after undoing them, we will be more free. Another thing is dealing with others in the air. One is likely to cut or get cut also (does it sound familiar if I say we face such cut throat competitions as we go higher?). Dealing with competition, jealousy are all part and parcel of life - aren't they?

It was a nice thought provoking experience for me.

Crisis Management

2007-01-23T12:33:00.000+05:30

Crisis Management - By Swami Dayananda
What we call Crisis Management , is not management of crisis. It is an expression which really means this : you create a crisis and then manage it. You first create a crisis and then manage, or try to manage and seek help …some people attract crisis, some people create crisis.
If you analyse the personal life of any one person, you find that most of the crisis that the person has faced in his or her life were caused by the individual more often than not . Suppose, I have to make a decision, a decision which is painful, I generally postpone . As one grows up from childhood, one picks up this particular thing, a habit to go in for what is immediately gratifying and postpone what is painful. Even in our schools, elementary, high schools, and also college, we are told by the teachers, do first the easy ones and deal with the difficult ones later. If it is purely based on time management, then I can appreciate, but I find this is entertained, even in enjoyment …
This is a particular personality trait, going always for the pleasant and postpone the painful. In life everyone has got to make painful decisions . There is no such life which is always pleasant. Whether it is the life of a Maharaja or if it is the life of a beggar, in every life, you find there are occasions when they had to make decisions which are not always pleasant…
Anything that involves little pain, little effort, is always postponed, and that is why you find there is a crisis...We create a crisis and go to Gods and ask them to manage it...
One has to recognise the main source of crisis, ...which is procrastination, and going in for the pleasant and always trying to avoid the unpleasant. Only when one recognises this, he can overcome it .

Success in Day-to-day living

2007-01-23T12:30:00.000+05:30

Success in Day-to-day living - By Swami Dayananda

Success is something that we all want to have. Who doesn't want to be successful? Even a sanyasi wants to be successful, a successful sanyasi. As a human being we all have a number of ambitions, desires, likes and dislikes are there and you want to fulfill them . Nothing wrong . Somehow in this country there is a widespread belief that, to have a desire is a weakness.That is wrong thinking.

Desiring is a privilege of a human being, only a human being can have a desire.

But at the same time, this desire is something to be fulfilled, if it is not fulfilled, then it is a problem. Therefore they say desire is bad, just like, if you say you have a headache, they say remove the head, then who is free form headache. So, removing head if you have a headache is a silly thing.

No desire can be fulfilled without effort, there should be effort, there should be enthusiasm, you require courage to undertake anything. Effort, you may have, enthusiasm, you may have, courage you may have,...no knowledge, then you will get into hot waters.

If a planning and clean knowledge of what I am in for, if that is not there then all the efforts are of no use. When everything is there and you don't take your Shakthi (resources) into account, which is very important. One should necessarily take into account, the Shakthi one can command .

On the way, please understand, there are obstacles…Don’t think that there will be a clean road. There is no clean road anywhere. Therefore, you find there are varieties of obstructions. Obstacles, will be there and one should be able to recast ones plan one's own ideas, and marshal one's resources and then again overcome the obstacle...

Where these six qualities exist, there the Lord gives a helping hand, why because still you require the Lord. Because there is an unknown factor, a factor over which you have no control whatsoever and that makes the difference between success and failure and that factor should not be given simply to chance and we don't. The Hindus, the Vaidikas, the Vedic people belong to this tradition, the Vedic tradition, we take the chance factor , into account and we call it Daivam (Lord), and we invoke Daivam, by our own Prarthana (prayer) . There your freewill is used and your freewill is highly manifest by your prayer because without prayer also you can work, and with prayer also you can work. And it is prayer that takes care of the unknown factor, which makes the difference between success and failure.

In every undertaking - you can get more, you can get less , you can get equal or you can get the opposite...and these four types of results you have for every action and naturally you should know how to handle them and therefore, if you know how to handle them, I would say, you are a successful person.

Things I ponder....

2007-01-22T15:47:00.000+05:30

Bhaiyya once wrote to me this...He wanted me to think on these lines

"Has Mr. God something to with Hindu? Religion has nothing to do with god.
God is not a religious guy and he has no religion.
Sixty years ago there were no Pakistanis or Bangladeshis, till we divided this country into different parts. Before we divided Earth into continents, there were no Asians, Africans or Europeans, and we just had people of one earth. Before divisions were created, a source of thought existed and that had no divisions, so how can we give a religion to a source of thought?

This division into Christians, Muslims, Hindus is dangerous because we are all human beings. This division has created only miserable people. a miserable human being will make a "miserable father, sister, mother, son, teacher, or a miserable follower of this religion or that god. If all are happy, the colour of one's dress doesn't matter at all. Dress here signifies race, color, creed etc.

Only if we understand this we can be better citizens of the planet Earth. Everybody should love himself/herself. A garbage given to us is that loving ourselves is selfish. That is rubbish. On an airplane, if the cabin pressure falls we're asked to first wear the oxygen mask and then help the child. That is not selfish, because if we want to help somebody, we must first find strength in ourselves. Only then we can help others. Only if we love ourselves first we would know what loves would mean to others as well."

I wrote back asking...

"More than the isms, the world has now come down to a level of beliefs and rituals. That is part of your and my day to day routine. If Bali is not given, Gods will curse. If the family deity is not paid its regular due of pooja and austerities then something bad will befall. More than rationality, we have become more and more accustomed to such beliefs that have been passed on to us.

The passing on of things also, mostly we do it to please the 'elders' no matter how our own rationality opposes it. We call it giving "respect". Giving respect to what - to their feelings. what about our own feelings then. Do we "respect" ourselves then.

In the process of pleasing a few, we often end up hurting few whom we love and funnily we end up asking them to forgive and forget. Aren't those qualities ever present with the elders? For the favour of a few ununderstanding we "under" "stand" the ones who are forced to understand our inability. In short - we take the ones we love for granted.

In the whole fiasco, our question of understanding comes to - Understanding what? Understanding the unknown. Which unknown? Almost everything is unknown.

So which is reality? Our beliefs should determine our action. For the sake of external we put up masks on our face. One to please people who believe. One to those who believe but would like to put a mask in front of us. Where is our real face? Where are our real beliefs?

If our beliefs are real, then why are we forced to comply to others beliefs. If their beliefs are real, why aren't we convinced about it. If our beliefs are real why aren't we able to convince them.

Further more, aren't we going to pass on these beliefs. A flicker of a lamp is considered inauspicious. A Mispronunciation of a verse is inauspicious. Our hearts flicker. Aren't we passing on these to the next generation.

We are neither this nor that. Ultimately we end up believers of things we never wanted to believe because over the years of mute compliance in the name of respect, we have trained our rationality to fall in place with something which we now know to be false and later accept as ways of the world. It rightly befits to say "That's the way we are brought up" (that's the way we will bring up our children too) "That's the way it is" (Because we don't want to fight it. Just meekly accept it - For sake of respect, for sake of peace)."

Well, the thought is still on...

Birds...

2007-01-21T20:01:00.000+05:30

I had been to Vedanthaangal Bird sanctuary (near Chengalpet) this saturday. Almost 80Kms from Chennai.
Watching the birds was too good. There were a lot of them. Painted Storks, Cranes, Spoonbills, Ducks. All migratory birds. Many were from Siberia. Few from Bangladesh, Pakistan.
Watching the birds building their own nests, looking after their new borns, teaching the younger ones to fly was nice. One of the small birds was trying to fly and it couldn't get the elevation properly. It was falling quiet frequently in the water. There were few ducks also. I guess some were a little photo conscious. While some posed for our photos, some got shy and flew

away.

There were a stork which was sitting in a solitude in a high branch for quiet some time. It was enjoying the swinging effect of the branch and was swaying itself to the tune of the gentle breeze that was blowing over. After some time another stork came by and sent this one packing. It was almost like the new one saying "Ok you have had your time. Its my turn now".

Few people had brought their kids. One small kid identified all the birds individually as "Beeee". She insisted her parents to see the very bird whom she just named "Beeee" and was quite annoyed when they did not follow her directions.

Another kid was more interested in feeding the sick dog. She found the dog's sincerity in eating her biscuits "Cute". The monkeys over there were more elegant than us. One mother monkey was so perfect in cutting open a packet of groundnuts and having them "one by one".

Watching the floating birds balancing themselves according to the ripples in the water brought me the thought of life, were as individuals we balance ourselves according to the ripples that exist in the environment that we live.

The birds were put up in bushes which seemed more like islands in themselves.

They say these birds start coming by the month of November and go back by February. Its not that they all arrive on one short. But in lots. Just as they arrive, they go back with new members added to their groups while here in India.

When I heard that they come from Siberia, Bangladesh and Pakistan I was thinking - How nice that these birds do not have restriction of borders like we humans do. As a matter of fact, the local birds did not have any problems with the touring "Visitors". Crows, local ducks..none had any problem with these migratory birds.

I wonder why God made so many species of Birds, animals, worms, insects. And only one species of Human. Yeah there are variants in us. But not such total difference as in others. Did He think, "with just little variants, this one Species has so many problems that it is less bothered about the well being of other creations of mine."

When Birds fight, they don't fight the entire race. They fight as individuals and stop there. Their fights don't extend even to the next kith and kin. Look at us. We fight. We destroy races.

I wanted to be as free as a bird so that I can fly high. No hard and fast rituals. Yes, I might have to follow the discipline of my group, but there are no punishments, no hard feelings, no carry forward of sorrow, no memories. Life is being lived then and there. Enjoying the "Now" factor.

It was nice to see them float in the air, without even having to flap their wings much.

Birds are more far reaching than we are. They travel around. They see a lot of things. Lot of people. I wanted to get inside a bird's mind and see how exactly it comprehends what it sees in we human beings. It is a far fetched one. But then, I wanted it then.

Pongal Back Home

2007-01-12T17:27:00.000+05:30

Pongal celebrations back home with Mom and dad is not something unique. But then, it gives me a satisfaction of doing "something" different from routine.

The day before pongal, I go hunting for Neem leaves and a special Poo - "Poola poo" for keeping Kaappu at home. Dad finds out the time before which this ritual has to be completed. I go around the house. I then get my father's approval of it.

Next is the process of putting a big KOLAM. Dad has the duty of bringing some cowdung and some colourant. I clean the garden and make the place clean enough to start the Kolam. I mix the cowdung in water with the colourant and mop the front side of the house. After it dries, the place looks very bright. (so do my hands). Then I put Kolam. I do wish I had the patience to fill it with Rangoli powder too.

I burn all the garden rubbish marking the ceremonial fire of Bhogi festival.
There was a period when Mom used to make mouth watering Poli. These days, she doesn't have interest. Moreover she says "why should I make, when it is available readily made in the market". I do feel sad about it.

Then I go marketing with Daddy to buy sugarcane, turmeric and special roots - "Koorkan Kilangu" and Beans. The usual pooja items - Betel leaves, Betel nuts, bananas and decorative flowers are the others in the shopping list. Jaggery, cashew nuts are items purchased base on home inventory levels.

I wash the brass pot clean and make it shine using tamarind.
Then I tie a rope in its neck to which are attached a piece of sugar cane, a piece of coconut and a small banana. I also decorate it with the leaves of the turmeric plant. Then I mark the Sri charanam marks on the pot.
Towards the end of the day, I clean up the kitchen and put some kolam on the Gas stove also.

I usually get up early on Pongal day. Then I wake mom and dad.
After we take bath, Dad lights the cermonial fire, places the pot on the fire. Mom cuts a packet of milk and pours it into the pot.

I keep the rice & Moong dal mixture ready for both Sweet pongal and normal pongal.

As the milk begins to boil, I beat a plate with a spoon and we all shout "Pongalo Pongal". Mom has some calculations based on which side the milk boiled over. East is considered most auspicious.

Then due to lack of time, mom starts to empty the milk into another vessel so that the balance part of cooking the real pongal is taken over by modern cooking methods rather than traditional means.

Sweet Pongal, Venn Pongal and Puli Kuzhambu (with Koorkan kilangu) marks that day's special.

Then it is the usual TV serials for us.

The next day, mom wakes me up as early as 5.30 and asks me to keep Kanu.
I select a spot convinient for us. Put kolam there. The turmeric leaves are washed and are then placed on the ground. On this leaf are placed, the left overs of sweet pongal and Venn Pongal, ordinary rice as well as rice coloured red and yellow, betel leaves, betel nuts, two pieces of sugarcane, turmeric leaves, and plantains.

Every time I recite "Kannu pidi vechein, Kakka pidi Vechein, Kakkaiykkum Kurivikkum Kalyanam". I feed colored balls of cooked rice to the birds and pray that the house and family of my brother should prosper. Then, Arati is performed offering with turmeric water, limestone and rice, and this water is sprinkled on the kolam in front of the house.

That day, I get turmeric applied on my forehead by all elders marking a blessing.

That day - NO usual Sambar or Rasam is made. That day's special is usually Coconut rice, Lemon rice and Avial. I get the responsibility of making the rice. Mom calls it "Kalandha Saadham". She takes up doing the Avial. Dad has the job of frying Papadums. Not much of cooking is done that day. As usual, the idiot box beckons us with every channel having stiff competition to score highest TRPs on that day.

This time, I will be at home for Bhogi and Pongal only. I have to come back to office on Kanu. Probably I have to get the crows and sparrows inside the office - married.

Pongal marks the birth of a new month "Thai". They say in Tamil "Thai pirandhaal Vazhi Pirakkum".

Last year, the birth of this month marked the beginning of lot of things which have left bad memories in my mind. Will this year make a difference? Will there be a "Spring" that springs in my life at least this year? Lets see.......

Something to remember

2007-01-09T10:47:00.000+05:30

I belong to nobody...
Nobody belongs to me..
I belong only to God...
God belongs to everybody..

Waves

2007-01-08T18:43:00.000+05:30

I was standing in the Beach near the Ashtalakshmi Temple in Besant Nagar.
As the waters touched my feet, a lot of thoughts flew by. I felt that the waves were talking to me. A compilation of those .....

1st Wave: Hey Sweet heart!! Long time since I saw you. Come Let me first wash your feet.
2nd Wave: Ooh!! Your feet are tired. They have been bearing such burden.
3rd Wave: Let me draw some sand beneath you!! Don't worry. Its not your grave but your base to stand firm.
4th Wave: Your ankles are a total wreck. Why have you been so nervous?
5th Wave: I have carried rolling stones from every part of this world. I am unaware of their origin. Care to have a look?
6th Wave: Let me climb higher to cool you off.
7th Wave: I am not sure of my own strength. When I come near you, I lose myself and surrender in your feet.
8th Wave: Are you a mighty person to resist the temptations I carry within!!
9th Wave: I cannot ease out the pains in your heart. But I can soothe the nerves that reach your heart.
10th Wave: I keep coming to you on and on. Whether you love me or not.
11th Wave: You kick me. Yet I come to you.
12th Wave: You might get bored of me. Yet I will continue to come to you. And keep beckoning you back to me.
13th Wave: I never gave up on you. But I won't say "you don't have the right to give up on me".
14th Wave: I have no gaurantee that you will be there when I come back. Yet I am so happy that you are there atleast now when I came.
15th Wave: I am not sure if the wind is carrying me to you. Or I carry the wind to you.
16th Wave: There are many who are standing on me. Yet I love to be with you the most.
17th Wave: Look at the Boats. They are all dependant on me. Yet I don't carry the pride about it. I still surrender at your feet.
18th Wave: Ever wondered what the bubbles are which I bring to you. Its just my bubbling love for you.
19th Wave: I have been blowing my kisses in form of bubbles at your feet right from the moment you stepped inside. I don't expect you to do the same.
20th Wave: You might say I am salty. And find me difficult to accept. No Problem.
21st Wave: I accept you as your are. And love you for who you are.
22nd Wave: The air might fill your ears. For what it did, you may even hate me.
23rd Wave: The sand which I leave at your feet are my tokens of love placed lovingly.
24th Wave: I have offered everything I have to you and expect nothing in return from you. Even if you give me anything I accept it as such.
25th Wave: I cannot follow you when you leave me. You need your space. So long as I am where I ought to be, we love each other. In my curiosity to meet you, if I come to you?? Well, people call it tragedy.
Final Wave: Good bye dear love. Not to worry. I am here always for you. Look deep inside you. I am within you also. When ever you are sad, I will come to you. Through your eyes.
Good Bye!! Don't forget!! I am your ultimate friend. I will always be there for you!!

Secret Recipe for the New year

2007-01-05T15:10:00.000+05:30

Follow the recipe to make the new year delightful and enjoyable !!

Take twelve whole months,Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy. Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts,but don't make up the whole batch at once.Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith,one part of patience, one part of courage,and one part of work.

Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.Blend with one part prayer,one part meditation, and one good deed.Season the whole with a dash of good spirits,a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play,and a cupful of good humor.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love.Cook thoroughly over radiant joy,garnish with a smile,and serve with quietness, unselfishness,and cheerfulness.

You're bound to have a happy new year.

Team outing

2007-01-05T15:02:00.000+05:30

Prologue
At the initiation of few enthusiasts the Base team – Team outing, plan was rolled out. A Team outing coordination team was formed with one representative from each of the teams within the base team. Senior Management people, gave a lot of encouragement and support, right from procuring funds from the company to having regular updates about the progress made by the team in its efforts towards the event. They always made sure that all plans were transparent and were fully communicated to all teammates. The teammates were also perfect sports in being flexible to any of the options floated. Some even came out with innovative ideas to help the organizers.
The planning for the team outing event went on for over a month. The team outing coordinators had to try various permutations and combinations of locations to comply with various constraints being faced by the team. After a lot of deliberations 18th February 2006 was finalized as the day for the team outing. A 10 days core work was involved. The location was finalized as “MAYAJAAL” resort. A week before the event, another Event management team was formed. Another set of enthusiastic youngsters came out with a list of events that they planned over there. Fund requirement for procuring gifts was also raised. Ultimately, the team out momentum finally caught up with everybody. The day before the event, the itinerary and the facilities available in the resort was also floated. Family members of the team – the extended family of Ramco Base Team were special invitees.

THE DAY
Curtain raiser
The day began with a fair turn out of members. However, there was a corner of yearning amongst all attendees that the non-attendees might have made it there. Rest apart, the team decided to make most of the day. A cute kid started the trip with his recital of prayers in the bus and of course with a regular dose of film songs with his own verses yet maintaining the tune as in films. The kid instigated a lot of enthusiasm amongst the “freshers”.
On landing at the venue, we were joined by few others who brought their family members also. Welcomed by a refreshing drink, the Event Management team took over from there. They had all the members to pick a card in lots having some nicknames and divided them into 4 teams – Micky, Donald, Popeye and Scooby. Cute identity cards for the team members with neatly pinned color ribbons (Red, Green, Yellow and Orange) were given. The organizers had the presence of mind to provide pins also. The junior members were also given team ID cards. It was nice to see toddlers playing around, followed by their ever-watchful parents.
Balloons were brought out. Few kids did get scared about balloon bursting. But then it was fun to see children playing with them. The deep hidden child in us came out full-fledged to play with balloons.

Events
The event management team had devised a sandwich game strategy where in elders and children had events alternatively.
The first event was like a musical chair. Four squares were drawn on the floor and named as Hearts, Clover, Diamond and Spades. On the blow of the whistle, all attendees were required to walk within the squares. On the blow of the whistle the second time, members were asked to stay in a square. Then a card would be drawn in lots. The members in the square whose card was drawn were declared “out” of the game. That event finally turned out to be a test of luck between a senior team member and toddlers. Despite that embarrassment, the winner turned out to be the senior member.
Next event was bursting of balloons by kids.
The second event for the elders was the TUG-OF-WAR. Strategy devising, co-ordination amongst team members was absolutely superb. The Green team won that event. The true sport attitude of the others came out when they came to congratulate each of the members of the winning team individually. The whooping of the winning team on winning the event is worth mentioning. All participants were given a Key chain at the end of the event. The nicknames assigned to the participants were called out to distribute these key chains.
The children had to play the running race, where they were asked to pick chocolates from one place and drop them at the other. It was not really a competitive one. Owing to age differences amongst children, all of them were rewarded a “Five- Star” chocolate. There was one Mega-sized child amongst in the organizers who walked away with one Five-star chocolate too. It was really funny to see “Grown-up children” having a mock fight over that chocolate.
Next was Dumb-charred event. Tamil movies, English movies were given to teams to mime. Ultimately the Red team won that event.
The “Blow the Flour” event was another enjoyable event. It had almost all members to have a facial treatment to make them look “Fair” with flour on all their faces.
The kids were more organized amongst themselves to give more encouragement during the team events. They were happily roaming about. For the toddlers, crayons and sheets were provided to bring out the artistic talents within them. They went about having their own form of fun.
Timely refreshments were also provided to all.

Lunch
The Lunch was really sumptuous. Right from Starters to Desserts the entire course was really delicious and enjoyed by one and all. Children – uncared about the presence of strangers, had their usual routine of fussing over food. But food was one part, which was enjoyed by everyone. Both Vegetarian and Non-Vegetarian food was provided. Being a Buffet, people took food of their preference and enjoyed it.

Post Lunch
Post lunch session, few attendees had to excuse themselves owing to some commitments. Hence the “Memento” distribution was conducted immediately. T-shirts bearing the company’s logo was distributed to all members.
The effort for this particular T-shirt procurement is worth mentioning. Right from identifying a supplier, negotiations, order placement (after getting the size details of all members), getting the delivery, identifying the size and properly packing them in individual packets after proper labeling, a lot of hard work and meticulous planning and execution went in. The T-shirt procurement and distribution was an event by itself considering the number of mails that was circulated. All team members were extremely co-operative to any effort made by the organizers. T-shirts were handed over to non-attendees also later.
The organizers were given a token of appreciation for their work.
Then it was “Open –up” for one and all. Team members split up. Most of the Male members were engaged in a game of Cricket. Few went to chill out in the hot sun in the swimming pool. The children had their fun in the pool under the supervision of their parent(s). The indoor stadium was utilized by a few to play indoor cricket, Shuttle-cork. Some played Table Tennis. Some even went to extent of trying their hands in “Weight lifting” in the GYM. The God almighty was merciful and there were no issues in any of these sporting events. Snow bowling was new to many. Some went for refreshments in the mall. It was all about sharing, caring and being cared-less. The artificial waterfall was visited by a few. Children and few elders had their fun getting drenched in the sprinklers fitted in the lawns.

Curtains.
The curtains were drawn for the day, after almost everybody got exhausted. Some were stating that their beds were beckoning them with open arms singing lullaby to them. Children were sleepy towards they end of the day.
It is said that a Vacation is a chance to reset the inner clock for better performance. This team out was indeed different from the routine. There were a few who gave feed back that they enjoyed the day more than the vacation they had with their families.
The kind of team spirit that was exhibited within the team is really amazing. Collecting mementos on behalf of others, ensuring each other’s safety, ensuring that the others also equally enjoy, snapping photographs of those memorable moments are some memories, which would linger always in the minds of people as “EVER GREEN MEMORIES”.

Transition

2004-12-03T17:39:00.000+05:30

Life is full of changes. One way or the other. The transition process is however slow.
But of all the phases of life, childhood is God's gift. That is the phase where there is no fear of the future. No memories of the past. Only the present.

It has never ceased to awe me, the natural instinct in a baby to smile. People these days find it time consuming even to smile. They keep saying "I have work...I have work". It may be true, but then, a smile is not going to kill you. Joy or happiness is always the source of smile. But sometimes, a smile could be the source of joy or happiness.

A child is so carefree. Everything provided or not, a child is one of the most bravest living things. Compared to we grown ups, they are far more braver. A child takes the first step in its life. It falls. Senses pain. Seeks compassion. Then does not give up. It continues to try and try again...it tries gripping something...then move slowly...then onwards...until mastery that process continues. After mastery...that process proceeds further.

But it is really surprising that the child does not draw up a plan or a time schedule. It just does it. But look at us now....shame on us....every second is calculated...what a life? All environmental pollution and to top it all we call it Maturity. ha....

Diwali Celebrations

2004-11-17T15:42:00.000+05:30

Diwali!! I have a lot of emotions attached to that term. May not be really significant, but it seems to have its own relevance when it comes to Family. Sometimes, I do feel that these festivals which are stated to have their respective significance – have some other ulterior motives.

It is a sort of real fun to see people getting up early in the morning, wearing new clothes, distributing sweets, etc. The only days when I get up so early other than Diwali are my e-days (exam days). During other festivals I do not see many wearing new clothes. And with the fast moving days, the only time that I get to see my neighbors is when I go to their house distributing sweets. It is really fun getting new clothes for all the family members.

Going shopping with all members despite grunts from the bread winner about the expensiveness of the clothes, making sweets at home before “The Day” and at the pretext of checking on the accuracy of sweetness, having some helpings and then getting shooed away from the store by elders, trying to have a sneak peek at place where the goodies are locked, trying to use some influence to get some special crackers than the usual ones – such memories make the festival even more special for me.

I miss my childhood and also my cousins especially on “The Day”. With all of them around, the fun was even more with trouble brewing right from who has to have the first chance in taking an oil bath, who get the first sweet, who gets to burst the crackers first. It used to be a competition amongst neighborhood kids as well. The aftermath of the celebrations which includes compulsory intake of the Diwali medicine which is too hard to swallow and highly bitter in taste, running round the house shouting “Help!!! They are trying to kill me! They are making me eat this drastic thing! Help!!!” followed by peals of laughter from the elders, scolding from parents for creating a din, etc.

This diwali however did not have its original flavour of fun.

May be because we no longer consider it as a chance to get "together". It seems more like a formality.

I believe that when the demon "narakasur" died, he must have missed his mother's guidance due which he felt the necessity of family togetherness and organized such a festival. But we have lost focus of his real intention. With the nuclear family concept gaining its hold into our culture and workaholics increasing (thanks to the MNC policy of providing 24 * 7 service), our kith and kin celebrate diwali in office with their computers in a 6 * 8 sized cubicle having virtual crackers and virtual savouries and ofcourse...sending a lot of e-greetings with steriotyped wishes.