Memories of my Baby shower
Today, my cousin asked me the significance of having a Traditional Baby shower...as I was talking to her..memories of my "poochoottal, Poomsuvana Semanthonanyanam, Valaikaapu" came flooding in.
The ausipicious day was fixed as 16th March 2011. My In laws and Parents were in full swing getting things ready for the event. What kept me engaged was shopping for myself..guess what I never did shopping for my wedding..only for my baby shower :-). Bangles, blouses, return gifts, hairdo kit..etc...
I had almost memorized verbatim the significance of the function as mentioned in http://www.trsiyengar.com/id156.shtml
We had the Sumangali Pooja on 13th march. MIL, Co-sister had prepared a traditional spread for 5 Sumangalis (Married women) + usual people in the household. I was just a helper around..We gifted a nice 9 Yards sari to one of the ladies. 2 amongst those were my aunts. I was seeing them after a very long time. So I got some saris for them too..(one of my aunts was coming to my home for the first time..that made it more special). They all blessed me for a safe delivery. That day my husband showed a new side of himself to me.."courtesy"...since dad wasn't around, he took up the responsibility of giving my aunts a proper send off in the railway station. He was in no hurry to get back home before he ensured that my aunts had themselves seated comfortably in the train and were to have a safe journey. That was something that surprised me too...He has always been "Busy"...so seeing him relaxed was a bit joyful.
By 15th March, all relatives had assembled. (1 or two were to join the next day). I had very few people from my maternal side. I was a little unhappy about that for some time. People whom I hoped would come, couldn't make it. Some had difficulties and constraints. Some had some last minute emergencies. Some had distanced themselves from me. I was missing some special people who were very important to me at some significant part of my life time. Somehow I consoled myself saying.."God is there to take care. Every person has their own difficulties. It is not wise to put the key to our joy in their pockets. No point in crying or blaming or nurturing hatred or observing apathy or planning a revenge. These are not characteristics of the wise but of the 'otherwise' (AKA TV serial watchers). What matters is their good wishes and blessings". I was back to my cheerful self soon.
The caterers were here making a fantastic spread for all the guests. It began with Bajji for evening snack and masala dosai for dinner. That evening we had the Udaga Shanthi. The significance that I was told was "To live a healthy long life and also achieve fame and wealth, and have good children in the family, one would do wise to listen to, and recite the Udaka Shanthi Mantras. These Mantras, have the power to purify one's mind and the environment he lives in. 'Udaka Shanthi' means 'Shanthi' performed through water. Udaka Shanthi consists fo mantras from the deity Agni to the Supreme Lord Vishnu. More over the deities governing all nakshtras, their individual mantras and the benefits obtain are also mentioned.".. There was a central Kalash (not the usual chotkoo one..but a regular 'Thaneer Kudam" or "pot"). At the end of the chanting, I was made to sit in the balcony and my husband poured the sacred water over me..brrr...it was really cold...at one point of time I felt it hard to breathe..but I kept telling myself..this is for my baby... I got to wear a cotton 9 yards sari (a new one as a gift from my parents) to wear after that. We (husband and self) were then asked to take the blessings of all elders and proceed to the puja room to take the blessings of the diety resident at our home.
Before I could go to sleep, my MIL wanted to do a dress rehersal. She wanted to do be my personnal stylist that day. She did a small rehersal of hairdo that she had planned the next day. (She was telling me that in her village and in those days, females in the family used to do makeup for the members in the family. No external professional help was sort...so it was a journey down the memory lane for her). She had neatly stitched up the "Rakodi" (hair brooch) with a hair bun made of banana stem threads and covered it up with a black ribbon. We then fixed up some hair pins to that 'bun' so that it becomes easier to fit it in my hair in a way that it wouldn't fall off and it is easier to decorate the hair with flowers around the brooch.
Though it was around 11 PM by the time we had wound up the rehersal, I was asked to come down by 4.30 AM (the poochootal function was scheduled at 6 AM).
I couldn't really sleep. So I came down at sharp 4.30 PM after a nice warm wash. My MIL dressed me up. I was all decked in my nine yards sari and a superb hairdo with a nice "nethi chutti" (Hair jewel)...
At 6 mom made me sit in a wooden plank and started the Poochoottal Valaikaapu function. Being my mother, she was the first one to apply Chandan, haldi, Kumkum on my face and hands. Then she fixed some flowers on my hair. Then she proceeded to put on "veppam kaapu" (neem bangle) "Thanga kaapu" (golden bangle), "Velli kaapu" (silver bangle)...after her 4 more ladies did the same thing..but gave me glass bangles to wear..(I had organized the bangles in a way that I get to wear 21 in one hand and 20 in the other...I was told it was customary that one hand has to have odd number of bangles while the other has to have even number)...a few bangles were set aside for my "thozhi"...It is believed that the person who gets to sit beside a pregnant woman during her Valaikappu...is given some of the pregnant woman's bangles as if saying "Your turn soon"... :-). The bangles and the kaapu were to be removed just before I enter the delivery - labour room. I wore those bangles till the end. (of course..some of them broke..but I did not remove them or deliberately break them..Anannya loved the tinkling sound that those bangles made...I could feel her movements more clearly after that)..
Then my MIL made me close my eyes and spread a banana leaf and filled it with food. Over that another banana leaf was spready. in its four corners 4 things (ammanai,kazhakodi, marapaachis, yeedu and yezthuthani) were kept hidden. I was asked to touch them with my eyes closed and guess what they were. I was told that what I picked first will determine my child's character..I picked yeedu Yezhutani (paper pen).
Then came the eating part. I had to feed, 2 kid-cousins and my nephew before eating. After that my cousin performed a small dance to entertain us until the "Vaathiyaar" (pujaris) arrive. They came in my 9.
The Seemantham function started by 9.30. Homam, Chanting was performed to pray God to bless the child in the womb. Then we had the Mookupizhithal. 2 Kanya girls had to grind the fruit of the fig tree. (We were able to mobilize only one girl. So, the kids whom I fed earlier decided to pitch in themselves) :-). I gave the girl a nice chain set and the boys got money. The juice was mixed in pure milk and after mantra chanting, 2 drops were sent down my nose. During the mookupuzhithl, the ladies were made to stand around me like a fortress and they held a saree around me. After the Mookuouzhithil, I was given a new 9 yards sari to wear. The fig seeds were then bound as a knot in my new 9 yards sari. I was supposed to put it my baby's craddle on the it naming ceremony.
Slowly the guests from outside (not being relatives) started blessing us and gave us gifts. My husband gifted me a pair of gold earrings. My nephew Bhargavaa also gave me a nice fancy jewellery as a gift. He had saved up his pocket money and had combed the entire locality in getting me a "nice one". I heard that one of the shopkeepers got a bit of Bhargavaa's sharp tongue for keep "sub optimal goods in the shop that were not worthy enough for Bhargavaa to buy for his aunt"...hahahaha...for some time, we never went in the direction of the shop for some time. hahahhaa
My parents gave me a pair of gold bangles, 3-4 huge thalis of sweets. The "PoriKollu" (a spicy Mixed gram mixture...that is mostly available only in southern districts of Tamil Nadu) was also given as part of my "seeru" (gifts) from my "Pirandha agam" (maternal home). Either sambandis gifted sari and dhothi to each other. (I sponsored all clothings. Both Mom and MIL loved the saris that I bought for them. Somehow I found it difficult to differentiate between them. So I bought them identical saris in different colors. Also a sari for my co-sister..she was the one who was a silent slogger in making this function a grand success). Mom got me a nice mysore silk sari. I wore it for the evening function. It was an unusual combo of Light and Dark Blue...(Thanks ma!!)
I had invited only one guest from my office. Dr. SPV (S.P. Viswanathan...I refer to him as "father of Solar thermal power research in India"). He is a very very wise man and a great scientist. I wanted his blessings. I had invited him alone. He did oblige me by coming home with his wife. He spent the entire day watching the function, and left only after all the rituals were completed and after relishing the food served at lunch. He ensured that he got the route map memorized properly the day before the function. Despite his tight schedules, he made it to the function. I was so happy about that.
Lunch too was at home. Nearly 50 people had lunch. we served all of them in batches. We had guests from Thiruvaroor, Thanjavore, Srirangam, Mumbai and Chennai. People from the colony also came in. It was a decent function that went on very smoothly.
I was given a send off to my mom's place. My MIL placed a coconut in my sari pallu and asked me to return back safely. Incidentally the pregnant lady's husband has to hide himself. She is not supposed to see him when she goes to her mother's place for delivery. She filled my pallu with a huge coconut. I was supposed to keep it at my maternal home until my delivery. When I went to the hospital, that coconut had to be deposited in the temple enroute.
I went home for an hour and was back :-)....But I went to my maternal home after 15 days.
I must also mention that my MIL secretely sent some "Pather Pheni's" for me...she got it made because I used to like it. We had once experimented it at home (before I was pregnant)...she also 'hid' some exclusively for me...Sweet lady..she really took care of me as she would have taken care of her own biological daughter. No wonder I have 2 Amma's now! (Oh no..she is not net savvy and I have no intention to do any sweet talk about her...I am being genuine in my appreciation).
That evening, we had a family concert. My cousin gave a traditional Bharatnatyam performance. My nephew sang "Vishamakaara kannan".. (I think Anannya is more naughty because she has heard about Krishna..while she was at my womb)..
The whole function was really memorable. I have preserved some of the my baby shower bangles a a memento. :-D...All for the sake of the princess that was growing up in my womb. :-D...
This was a once in a lifetime function. Even if I had any more deliveries, this function will never be repeated. My friend once said, "you can even marry twice. But never get to have your seemantham twice". I remembered those lines at the end of that day when I went to sleep.
Well it is nearly a year now...What a hectic day it was...but nevertheless..those events are still vivid in my mind...very memorable....
The ausipicious day was fixed as 16th March 2011. My In laws and Parents were in full swing getting things ready for the event. What kept me engaged was shopping for myself..guess what I never did shopping for my wedding..only for my baby shower :-). Bangles, blouses, return gifts, hairdo kit..etc...
I had almost memorized verbatim the significance of the function as mentioned in http://www.trsiyengar.com/id156.shtml
We had the Sumangali Pooja on 13th march. MIL, Co-sister had prepared a traditional spread for 5 Sumangalis (Married women) + usual people in the household. I was just a helper around..We gifted a nice 9 Yards sari to one of the ladies. 2 amongst those were my aunts. I was seeing them after a very long time. So I got some saris for them too..(one of my aunts was coming to my home for the first time..that made it more special). They all blessed me for a safe delivery. That day my husband showed a new side of himself to me.."courtesy"...since dad wasn't around, he took up the responsibility of giving my aunts a proper send off in the railway station. He was in no hurry to get back home before he ensured that my aunts had themselves seated comfortably in the train and were to have a safe journey. That was something that surprised me too...He has always been "Busy"...so seeing him relaxed was a bit joyful.
By 15th March, all relatives had assembled. (1 or two were to join the next day). I had very few people from my maternal side. I was a little unhappy about that for some time. People whom I hoped would come, couldn't make it. Some had difficulties and constraints. Some had some last minute emergencies. Some had distanced themselves from me. I was missing some special people who were very important to me at some significant part of my life time. Somehow I consoled myself saying.."God is there to take care. Every person has their own difficulties. It is not wise to put the key to our joy in their pockets. No point in crying or blaming or nurturing hatred or observing apathy or planning a revenge. These are not characteristics of the wise but of the 'otherwise' (AKA TV serial watchers). What matters is their good wishes and blessings". I was back to my cheerful self soon.
The caterers were here making a fantastic spread for all the guests. It began with Bajji for evening snack and masala dosai for dinner. That evening we had the Udaga Shanthi. The significance that I was told was "To live a healthy long life and also achieve fame and wealth, and have good children in the family, one would do wise to listen to, and recite the Udaka Shanthi Mantras. These Mantras, have the power to purify one's mind and the environment he lives in. 'Udaka Shanthi' means 'Shanthi' performed through water. Udaka Shanthi consists fo mantras from the deity Agni to the Supreme Lord Vishnu. More over the deities governing all nakshtras, their individual mantras and the benefits obtain are also mentioned.".. There was a central Kalash (not the usual chotkoo one..but a regular 'Thaneer Kudam" or "pot"). At the end of the chanting, I was made to sit in the balcony and my husband poured the sacred water over me..brrr...it was really cold...at one point of time I felt it hard to breathe..but I kept telling myself..this is for my baby... I got to wear a cotton 9 yards sari (a new one as a gift from my parents) to wear after that. We (husband and self) were then asked to take the blessings of all elders and proceed to the puja room to take the blessings of the diety resident at our home.
Before I could go to sleep, my MIL wanted to do a dress rehersal. She wanted to do be my personnal stylist that day. She did a small rehersal of hairdo that she had planned the next day. (She was telling me that in her village and in those days, females in the family used to do makeup for the members in the family. No external professional help was sort...so it was a journey down the memory lane for her). She had neatly stitched up the "Rakodi" (hair brooch) with a hair bun made of banana stem threads and covered it up with a black ribbon. We then fixed up some hair pins to that 'bun' so that it becomes easier to fit it in my hair in a way that it wouldn't fall off and it is easier to decorate the hair with flowers around the brooch.
Though it was around 11 PM by the time we had wound up the rehersal, I was asked to come down by 4.30 AM (the poochootal function was scheduled at 6 AM).
I couldn't really sleep. So I came down at sharp 4.30 PM after a nice warm wash. My MIL dressed me up. I was all decked in my nine yards sari and a superb hairdo with a nice "nethi chutti" (Hair jewel)...
At 6 mom made me sit in a wooden plank and started the Poochoottal Valaikaapu function. Being my mother, she was the first one to apply Chandan, haldi, Kumkum on my face and hands. Then she fixed some flowers on my hair. Then she proceeded to put on "veppam kaapu" (neem bangle) "Thanga kaapu" (golden bangle), "Velli kaapu" (silver bangle)...after her 4 more ladies did the same thing..but gave me glass bangles to wear..(I had organized the bangles in a way that I get to wear 21 in one hand and 20 in the other...I was told it was customary that one hand has to have odd number of bangles while the other has to have even number)...a few bangles were set aside for my "thozhi"...It is believed that the person who gets to sit beside a pregnant woman during her Valaikappu...is given some of the pregnant woman's bangles as if saying "Your turn soon"... :-). The bangles and the kaapu were to be removed just before I enter the delivery - labour room. I wore those bangles till the end. (of course..some of them broke..but I did not remove them or deliberately break them..Anannya loved the tinkling sound that those bangles made...I could feel her movements more clearly after that)..
Then my MIL made me close my eyes and spread a banana leaf and filled it with food. Over that another banana leaf was spready. in its four corners 4 things (ammanai,kazhakodi, marapaachis, yeedu and yezthuthani) were kept hidden. I was asked to touch them with my eyes closed and guess what they were. I was told that what I picked first will determine my child's character..I picked yeedu Yezhutani (paper pen).
Then came the eating part. I had to feed, 2 kid-cousins and my nephew before eating. After that my cousin performed a small dance to entertain us until the "Vaathiyaar" (pujaris) arrive. They came in my 9.
The Seemantham function started by 9.30. Homam, Chanting was performed to pray God to bless the child in the womb. Then we had the Mookupizhithal. 2 Kanya girls had to grind the fruit of the fig tree. (We were able to mobilize only one girl. So, the kids whom I fed earlier decided to pitch in themselves) :-). I gave the girl a nice chain set and the boys got money. The juice was mixed in pure milk and after mantra chanting, 2 drops were sent down my nose. During the mookupuzhithl, the ladies were made to stand around me like a fortress and they held a saree around me. After the Mookuouzhithil, I was given a new 9 yards sari to wear. The fig seeds were then bound as a knot in my new 9 yards sari. I was supposed to put it my baby's craddle on the it naming ceremony.
Slowly the guests from outside (not being relatives) started blessing us and gave us gifts. My husband gifted me a pair of gold earrings. My nephew Bhargavaa also gave me a nice fancy jewellery as a gift. He had saved up his pocket money and had combed the entire locality in getting me a "nice one". I heard that one of the shopkeepers got a bit of Bhargavaa's sharp tongue for keep "sub optimal goods in the shop that were not worthy enough for Bhargavaa to buy for his aunt"...hahahaha...for some time, we never went in the direction of the shop for some time. hahahhaa
My parents gave me a pair of gold bangles, 3-4 huge thalis of sweets. The "PoriKollu" (a spicy Mixed gram mixture...that is mostly available only in southern districts of Tamil Nadu) was also given as part of my "seeru" (gifts) from my "Pirandha agam" (maternal home). Either sambandis gifted sari and dhothi to each other. (I sponsored all clothings. Both Mom and MIL loved the saris that I bought for them. Somehow I found it difficult to differentiate between them. So I bought them identical saris in different colors. Also a sari for my co-sister..she was the one who was a silent slogger in making this function a grand success). Mom got me a nice mysore silk sari. I wore it for the evening function. It was an unusual combo of Light and Dark Blue...(Thanks ma!!)
I had invited only one guest from my office. Dr. SPV (S.P. Viswanathan...I refer to him as "father of Solar thermal power research in India"). He is a very very wise man and a great scientist. I wanted his blessings. I had invited him alone. He did oblige me by coming home with his wife. He spent the entire day watching the function, and left only after all the rituals were completed and after relishing the food served at lunch. He ensured that he got the route map memorized properly the day before the function. Despite his tight schedules, he made it to the function. I was so happy about that.
Lunch too was at home. Nearly 50 people had lunch. we served all of them in batches. We had guests from Thiruvaroor, Thanjavore, Srirangam, Mumbai and Chennai. People from the colony also came in. It was a decent function that went on very smoothly.
I was given a send off to my mom's place. My MIL placed a coconut in my sari pallu and asked me to return back safely. Incidentally the pregnant lady's husband has to hide himself. She is not supposed to see him when she goes to her mother's place for delivery. She filled my pallu with a huge coconut. I was supposed to keep it at my maternal home until my delivery. When I went to the hospital, that coconut had to be deposited in the temple enroute.
I went home for an hour and was back :-)....But I went to my maternal home after 15 days.
I must also mention that my MIL secretely sent some "Pather Pheni's" for me...she got it made because I used to like it. We had once experimented it at home (before I was pregnant)...she also 'hid' some exclusively for me...Sweet lady..she really took care of me as she would have taken care of her own biological daughter. No wonder I have 2 Amma's now! (Oh no..she is not net savvy and I have no intention to do any sweet talk about her...I am being genuine in my appreciation).
That evening, we had a family concert. My cousin gave a traditional Bharatnatyam performance. My nephew sang "Vishamakaara kannan".. (I think Anannya is more naughty because she has heard about Krishna..while she was at my womb)..
The whole function was really memorable. I have preserved some of the my baby shower bangles a a memento. :-D...All for the sake of the princess that was growing up in my womb. :-D...
This was a once in a lifetime function. Even if I had any more deliveries, this function will never be repeated. My friend once said, "you can even marry twice. But never get to have your seemantham twice". I remembered those lines at the end of that day when I went to sleep.
Well it is nearly a year now...What a hectic day it was...but nevertheless..those events are still vivid in my mind...very memorable....
Comments
very nice write up...enjoyed reading it.
ammanai,kazhakodi, marapaachis, yeedu and yezthuthani picking event
After 11 years I can say, my daughter is all hands when it comes to Yedu (books) but yezhuthaani is a symbol of war (she loves reading but hates writing). So this custom is subjective and is recommended to be accepted with a pinch of salt :-).